I’ve been hooking up with this girl and she’s really great. Well, for the most part. When we’re having sex, she avoids my eye contact like the plague. I understand not wanting to form an emotional connection, but this is getting ridiculous. Seriously, the sex is great and I’m not willing to jeopardize it. Am I making too big a deal of this? Should I bring it up? Or should I avoid the conversation like she avoids my gaze?
Dear Not-So-Seductive Staredown,
You’re making a this a bigger deal that it really is. Eye contact is a really intimate action, and since you two are just “hooking up,” you staring her down mid-thrust is possibly making her feel uncomfortable. That creepy kid in high school liked to stare … No one wants to sleep with a creep.
But if it’s something that helps you get off, then you need to mention it. You’re not asking for a middle school staring contest here, just a little eye contact. Surely she can send you a seductive glance or two while you’re switching positions.
She could also just really hate eye contact in general. In that case, start switching up how you two have sex. Some positions don’t allow for eye contact. You’ll still feel great (duh, it’s sex), but you won’t have to watch her looking away every time you try to look into her eyes. That’s a serious turn off. Get behind her and you could both watch TV; she sounds like she’d be more interested in staring at the Kitchen Cousins than at your face.
If she doesn’t like eye contact and she says no to your request for a little more, don’t press it. That’s a surefire way to make her feel really uncomfortable and then you might not be getting any sex at all. Wouldn’t you rather be getting laid with no eye contact than taking care of yourself with RedTube? That’s what I thought.
And remember – you can always close your eyes and fantasize that she’s looking at you,