Dear V, I’m getting it in, but I’m not getting what I want…

Dear V,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a month now, and the sex isn’t bad. It’s just really boring.  I want to try out new positions, and I’ll talk about them, but then when we sleep together, we always end up in the missionary position.  How do I get him to agree to spice things up? 


Tired of Missionary


Dear Bored in Bed,

Your man may just be nervous that he’ll mess up these new positons. Maybe he’s just not that experienced.  And even though inexperience is not very sexy, this makes him very trainable.

Instead of being vocal about what you want before sex, speak up during it.  Until you’re on top of him and moaning about how you want it, he might not get the picture. Men are visual.

And if he still seems hesitant, take baby steps.  You can’t just approach a guy who’s used to this boring sex routine and suggest that you completely change everything.  If he’s timid about it, randomly suggesting handcuffs might impair his ability to get hard altogether.  So start off by suggesting that instead of just laying there like a fish, you put your legs over his shoulders.  It doesn’t seem like a huge change, but one day you’re doing that, and the next you’ll be in a Bloodhound Gang music video doing it doggy style so you can both watch X-Files.

Maybe he doesn’t want to change positions because what you’re doing feels good for him, and if that’s the case, I’m sorry you have a selfish lover.  But you can change his mind by showing him that other positions can feel just as great – better, even!  Get yourself a position of the day calendar and have at it.  You’re bound to find something new you’ll both really enjoy.

If he’s still not experimenting with new positions, though, it might be time to talk.  Relationships aren’t all about sex, but a disappointing sex life will eventually start affecting you both.  If you’re not wholly satisfied, why would you draw things out for no reason?  There are plenty of guys out there who are adventurous between the sheets, and if it’s an exciting sex life you seek, you might be better off with one of them.

Do what you gotta do to get that O,