V's Take

Dear V, I want all fifty shades of naughty…

Dear V,

After reading Fifty Shades of Grey, I can’t imagine life without bondage. Ever since I painted my apartment red, my sex life has been nothing but grey. How can I find my Christian Grey?

Signed,

“Ana”nymous

 

Dear Miss Steele,

So you’re into S&M. Welcome to my world. I’m all for kinky shit, especially when it involves a leather riding crop.

If you’re looking for a “Sir” to tie you up and do the nasty, I recommend a trip to your neighborhood bondage club. These clubs will satisfy all of your fetish, bondage and BDSM needs. And maybe you’ll find your dream dom.

But I don’t think Christian Grey is who you want gagging you. You should find someone else to take your breath away. He might be a freak in the sheets, but the relationship between Christian and Anastasia is the bad kind of freaky – you don’t want to be tied down that way.

Try not to let your fetish dominate your life. If you want to leave your mark on your partner, go for it. But if you can’t imagine your life without having someone control you, there’s a bigger issue at hand.

Don’t confuse dominance and manipulation. You don’t want to be on a leash outside of the red room. Most importantly, know your limits, pick a safe word and choose the right partner. Like in any relationship, trust and consent are a must.

With that, happy bonding. I hope it’s everything E.L. James makes it out to be and more. Keep a bottle of Advil next to the lube. Some parting words: try the hogtie, invest in a set of nipple clamps and be safe.

We aim to please,

V

August 19, 2012

Reporters


Around the Web

University of Miami students share their thoughts and impressions as President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris take the helm. ...

Following Wednesday’s historic event, University of Miami experts in various fields provide their insight on the biggest challenges facing the new administration. ...

As part of the “Roadmap to Our New Century” initiative, the University of Miami advances the art of teaching and the science of learning by partnering with students, alumni, and others to offer options throughout the entire adult learning life cycle. ...

University of Miami experts weigh the merit and consequences of amending or repealing the communications law that provides a legal shield for service providers from the words, images, and videos posted by their users. ...

The United States Postal Service features Emilio Sanchez, the first Cuban American visual artist to be recognized in a new series of Forever stamps. ...

TMH Twitter
About Us

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published in print every Tuesday.