Dear V,
I’m getting close to the end of my freshman year. However, I seem to still not have a group of best friends. While I am naturally a shy person, I feel like I’ve really tried to put myself out there with no response. I’ve joined clubs, tried talking to people in my classes and have tried to be friends with girls on my floor.
While I was “friends” with people for a short time, I slowly felt I didn’t really fit in when I hung out with them so I drifted away. Everywhere I look, people have made close friends. Is it too late to still make those close friends? Is there some secret? I really want to turn this around so the next three years here aren’t completely lonely.
Signed,
Friendless and Hopeless
Dear Plays World of Warcraft,
You seriously need to stop sitting in the dorms in a snuggie eating bonbons and watching “The Price is Right” reruns or you’re going to become a cat lady. And quit it with the “movie perfect” ideals. If your life was a movie, you’d be in a movie. But you’re not.
Life isn’t a manufactured series of scenes where in the end the barely attractive girl always gets the quarterback; the Decepticons are always defeated and Regina George gets hit by a bus.
You know those groups of friends that you longingly stare at in that borderline-creeper-status kind of way? Where do you think they came from?
“And on the sixth day, God made the perfect group.”
People come and go out of social circles constantly. You could easily be someone’s new best friend, but it just happens by chance.
You can’t force these things. In fact, the more you try to, the less successful you’ll probably be. The water will never boil if you’re watching it.
There isn’t always a magic blue pill that will lead you to what you want. The entire premise of your question may be the problem. You may never have the “perfect group of best friends,” but instead just one really close friend like plenty of people do. Even if that friend is just a pillowpet.
Honestly, sometimes that is the better option. I know many groups of friends that secretly all just hate each other.
They only hang out to have someone to drink with so they don’t feel like an alcoholic.
Of course, if all else fails, you could just join a nudist colony. Or a cult. People in cults are never lonely (and usually insane).
Now finish your Kool-Aid,
V