Opinion

Coping with the on-campus collisions

I am writing today to give a voice to all the victims of skateboard, longboard, headboard, bicycle, tricycle and unicycle collisions on campus. There have been too many fatalities from these atrocities on wheels and I am going to take a stand – that is until they ram into me again and send me flying into a macrame jewelry stand in the breezeway.

For too long, many have remained silent, living in fear that a skateboard decorated with a fluorescent Bart Simpson will impale them while they innocently walk through the motions of life. These murderers think they can avoid knocking over the 300 students in the two-inch wide pathways throughout campus. All it takes is one wrong judgment in the endless debate, “Should I move to the left or right to get out of the way?” All of a sudden, a student’s geology notes land by the Rock while one of his ribs swims in the lake.

Approximately 75 percent of UM students have been a victim of these wheeled life-enders, according to a study I conducted surveying the four friends I own. More than 100 percent of the victims felt both the emotional and physical repercussions of these accidents. Try and argue with hard evidence like that.

Some advocates of these killing devices contend that they are necessary in saving valuable time that can be otherwise spent on not getting to class. I get it. I constantly endure the fight for allegiance between my bed and going to class. My bed tells me to do things like wear the fifth grade field day shirt I wore to sleep and avoid putting on anything resembling makeup. We all do anything to get those extra 90 seconds of sleep. Together, we must ignore these demons.

Jackie Salo is a freshman studying journalism. 

February 29, 2012

Reporters

Jackie Salo


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Boston College star Ky Bowman came down with a 102-degree fever on Saturday night. Jordan Chatman an ...

A six-pack of Hurricanes notes on a Sunday: ▪ New UM defensive coordinator Blake Baker has asked UM ...

Emese Hof and No. 20 Miami think they can play with anyone, and it shows. Hof scored 18 of her 25 po ...

New University of Miami baseball head coach Gino DiMare wanted to start strong. He got perfection. T ...

Former University of Miami star running back Mark Walton was arrested late Friday on a charge of mis ...

UM alumna Alina Mayo Azze, who has covered a myriad of topics during her 37-year career, has been a ...

Happiness and well-being scholar Tal Ben-Shahar is UM’s newest Distinguished Presidential Scholar. ...

The University of Miami will host the first symposium to explore LGBTQ human rights across the Ameri ...

UM experts react to a new ban that prohibits people in Key West from using certain types of sunscree ...

A matchmaker extraordinaire, Ricardo Cepeda, the manager of the UM Zebrafish Facility, is passionate ...

The No. 20 Miami women's basketball team stormed back from a 14-point deficit to pick up the bi ...

Brian Van Belle struck out five over six shutout innings to help the Canes sweep Rutgers on opening ...

The Hurricanes dropped a tight contest with the Eagles in Chestnut Hill, 64-57. ...

The sophomore first baseman slugged his second homer of the weekend to lead the Canes to a series wi ...

Junior Renate Grimstad led the way for Miami and is tied for 18th at one-over-par, while sophomore K ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.