Like our predecessors, the class of 2015 had the arduous task of turning their uniform cubicle-size dorms into unique and decorative living spaces. In masses, they made the pilgrimage to Bed Bath and Beyond with their mothers and 20 percent-off coupons in tow.
I was among them with my own mother who hoarded the weekly coupons for the last two years as if she had been indoctrinated by the other college-bound mothers into believing these coupons were tickets to my eternal happiness. With just one foot stepped in the “college section” used to quarantine Bed Bath and Beyond’s most profitable customers, I was approached by an employee who presented me with a scan gun, my weapon in a war of many battles with my mother.
The process began with choosing my comforter. Since my bed would double as a couch and sleeping space, the decision is of great magnitude. The comforter would determine the color scheme for my entire room. I ruled out any of the bedding that shared any colors with my 2nd grade Lisa Frank pony folder. I ultimately chose a comforter that was “grayscale.” No room of mine would hold a scented candle to Elle Woods’ Legally Blonde dorm room.
To appease my mother, I decided on accents of a color she called guacamole. This meant that I would be committed to buy everything from my laundry bag to desk lamp in a shade of green. If I had one bath towel that did not conform to this color scheme, I would be a social pariah. This rule may only apply to girls since I enviously watched my male peers toss in blue wastebaskets with their red pillowcases with no care or casualty.
The color scheme was just the beginning of many critical decisions. Should I get an extension cord with a surge protector or not? Sophie’s choice. The greatest battle was fought in the casual dining section against my parental unit as to whether I needed a $15 mug. My mother, the proponent for this overpriced piece of drinkware, argued its necessity in consuming hot chocolate. “In MIAMI?!” I shrieked loud enough to alarm the student trying to decide on a mini vacuum.
Once I was done scanning everything and more on the packing list, I went to register it all to pick up in Miami. “So I’ll just buy it all there,” I asked. The guy looked over my list and responded, “Uh yeah if it fits…”