Dear V,
My closest friend “Jim” is dating this girl who I do not care for. She’s not particularly known for her kindness or monogamous behaviors. Why do I know this? Because she broke up with my other best friend “Chris” to date him. She had dated my other best friend Chris for years and cheated on him off and on throughout the relationship. Obviously this whole situation did not sit well between the two of them and their whole friendship fell apart because of it. I don’t know what to do. They are two of my closest friends and they pretty much hate each other. I don’t want to be stuck in the middle.
Sincerely,
Caught in the Middle
Dear Caught,
Getting in the middle of best friends is never a good look. I know you aren’t even trying to get involved, but it is nearly impossible for you to not become a fourth party in the whole thing. Since both of the boys mean a lot to you, try to not show too much bias one way or the other. This lovely little princess the boys are squabbling over sounds like a bonafide bitch who needs to better make decisions before she gets into positions where she ends up breaking people’s hearts.
Long-term relationships are not necessarily for everyone, especially at a young age when we are in college, but she needs to decide that long before being in a relationship for multiple years. With that being said, relationships do not always work out and that is completely understandable.
If the girl was not happy then she wasn’t happy. It’s just too bad that the failing of the one relationship caused her to go running into a best friend of the soon-to-be ex’s arms. Not a good choice little lady.
Jim should have seriously considered the repercussions that could have resulted from choosing to pursue something with this girl and have been prepared to deal with the explosions that would result. It’s Jim’s decision what he thinks is more important and he obviously decided that a relationship with this girl is more important than a long-lasting friendship. Sadly it’s not your place to really give him any advice because it is not your business.
Jim and Chris are both in tough places in regards to where to go from here as I am sure it was not easy for either of them. While I do not believe Jim made the best decision, there must be something about this girl he cannot live without in order to forfeit a best friend.
You need to be there for both of them whichever way they need you. Try to not speak harshly of any party if names are mentioned and just be the best friend you can be because even though things may have calmed down now, it’s obvious that things can quickly change from peaches-n-cream.
Real, real quickly.
With love,
V