Dear V,
I have a serious problem: I repel boys, and I’m not sure why. I think I have a decent figure, I am rather intelligent and there’s many people who are far worse off than I am in the looks department who have boyfriends. Basically, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me. (I know it sounds like I’m vain, but really I’m the most humble person ever.) Anyway, when boys are first attracted to me and ask me for my number, I can’t seem to get to that first date. We’ll talk and text for three weeks, but then I don’t hear from them. That’s even after they call me “sweet” or “pretty.” Is there something I’m doing wrong? Why can’t I find a cute boyfriend who wants to spend time with me and go out on dates? Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks V!
Single in Miami
Single in Miami,
Well, firstly, I’d like to point something out to you: It follows that age-old saying that “misery loves company.” You are most certainly not alone in that notion you possess. I’ve run into a countless array of loveless hopefuls that wish to jumpstart that broken-down poor excuse they call a love life. However, even the most optimistic person cannot simply wish that they’ll find that someone special or even a good-looking mister or miss to shag the night away. Why is this the case?
Because your thought must influence your action!
From what I can gather, you’re quite conditioned to waiting. Waiting for him to make the first move, waiting for him to set up a sultry social situation, waiting for him to express how he does or doesn’t feel. Well, let me assure you that many a hymen throughout history would have remained fully intact if women waited on the forwardness and directness of men. With that being said, I think it’s time that you rejoined the 21st century and realized that you are just as much at fault for letting an opportunity slip through your fingers.
Perhaps it is the case that the men you’ve recently run into have no desire to form anything more then friendship with you, hence a lack of effort on their part. It could also be the case that you attract what I like to call “worrisome-sons-a-bitches.” Meaning, quite simply, that they have a deep-seeded fear in making the first move toward anything substantial with a person whom they find attractive. While these timid individuals might take the reins further down the line, they have an onset internal quarrel centered around getting the ball rolling – in any general direction; just as you do it seems.
So, I implore you to take hold of your own life and to stop waiting on sheer thought and wishful thinking alone. Turn your thought into action, tell him of your interest and it might render more ideal results.
Wishing you success,
V