Dear V: How do I get this train rolling?

Dear V,

I feel that the greatest joy two friends can share with each other comes from having sex with the same girl… at the same time.  This is a feat I have completed before, but never here at school.  My best friend and I have been looking for a girl to “run train” on for quite some time.  For some reason, we have failed to seal the deal. Why is it that girls who may be willing to have sex with each of us individually aren’t willing to try a “2 v. 1” scenario?  Is there any approach going forward that you believe will help us punch tickets and get the train rolling?

Concerned Conductors

Well, Conductors,

I find this to be a very interesting situation. While I do wish to help you in your quest to possibly spit-roast a willing vixen, I do question why it is such a desirable goal to fulfill with your friend. Furthermore, why do you deem this to be the “greatest” joy two friends can share? While I will entertain this subjective opinion you hold, it sounds to me that you’d willingly leave out the middle man (or middle woman in this case) and simply ravage each other.

Think of it simply: You both enjoy the idea of pleasing a woman together, but at what level are you both subconsciously also attempting to pleasure one another? While I’m in no way trying to question your sexuality, I do think it raises a question regarding the space on the gay/straight spectrum you may fall.

Perhaps having a woman present reduces the air of homoeroticism that is blatantly being displayed. Regardless, it is just something for you to reflect upon as you attempt to locate an eager woman to share her body with two possibly bi-curious men.

Though I can guarantee that there are people willing to engage in a bit of ménage à trois on campus (I have seen more then my fair share of oddities that far surpassed a simple threesome) – asking is not going to prove a successful strategy.

Unless there is a woman that appears willing and able to accept the offer, I would resort to placing an ad up on the very reliable and possibly somewhat deceptive site, Craigslist.
I do implore you to do so with caution, but it could be a very quick way to find someone who’s willing to participate in such play, and possibly save a few bruises brought about from asking a lady directly.

I think there are possibly other great experiences friends could share with one another, but I encourage you to reach for your dreams and go for the double team. But remember what I mentioned before and think about what you’re really seeking out of this experience.

Best of luck,