A modest proposal for building a reputation

Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, confesses in the bio section of his page that he is “trying to make the world a more open place.” Since Facebook’s launch, people are revealing more inappropriate information about themselves, without thinking about privacy settings. Let’s help Zuckerberg make the world more “open.”

Going drinking? Have a friend take multiple snapshots of you in your finest moment of intoxication and mobile upload the pictures. In split seconds, all 1,367 of your friends (and all your friends’ friends) will have proof of your classy actions. Don’t create “friend lists” or set your privacy settings to discriminate any of your Facebook friends. The more “friends” know irrelevant details of your social life, the more likely you are to be safe from degrading gossip, the easier you’ll get a job, or the easier you’ll run for political office without suffering repercussions.

Make sure to keep yourself highly visible in Facebook search results. Public visibility is essential, especially if you want to achieve “Facebook fame” (when people you don’t know, know you). Remember, you want to attract the most users. So if you receive a friend request from someone you don’t know, add them.

Don’t forget to make your contact information visible to the public. You want your friends to be able to contact you in seconds. Be sure to include your phone number and complete address in case they want to send you a lovely letter via snail mail.

All of your friends genuinely care about your exact whereabouts, so make sure you update your status frequently.

Be as revealing as you can be when leaving wall posts, because remember, that’s what Facebook is all about- making the world “more open.”

We’re all helping Zuckerberg. The more information Facebook users willingly share about themselves, the more money he’s making off advertisers. Zuckerberg’s motives are simply to make the world a smaller, tech-friendly place- kind of like Miss Universe’s dream to achieve world peace, right?

We shouldn’t keep our Facebook pages clean, and we shouldn’t keep our pages with high privacy settings. Our reputations will build themselves.

Stephanie Parra is a freshman majoring in journalism and political science. She may be contacted at sparra@themiamihurricane.com.