V's Take

Dear V: Steve Jobs gets more action with my boyfriend

Dear V,

I blame the iPhone 4 for the complete and utter demise of my sex life.

Since my boyfriend purchased his, we’ve gone from having sex every day, to 4-5 times in the past month. You might think this sounds like

speculation, but it started the day he bought the iPhone. The device never leaves his hand when we’re spending time together– he is constantly on Facebook or playing with his dozens of apps. If I try coaxing him into putting the phone down, he gets fussy; like a toddler, but with a snazzy gadget.

So, what’s a deprived girlfriend left to do? Taking things into my own hands to spice things up has proven pretty useless. Incidentally, it’s hard to keep his attention long enough to talk to him about the problem. Do you think that things could go back to the way they were, or should I accept the fact that my boyfriend has taken up a newfound love in technology, and walk away?

Cock blocked by Steve Jobs

Dear Cock blocked,

I’m sure the iPhone is great and all, but you’d think the novelty would wear off by now. It can do some pretty amazing things, but it can’t offer what you can in the bedroom (unless Apple has come up with an app for that stuff too, in which case I’m ditching my blackberry for good).

I have to think this isn’t going to be a permanent fixation. After all, technology changes pretty quickly these days and no one can stay

excited about one thing for long. What he SHOULD be getting excited about is YOU, and things should go back to the way they were soon

enough. If we want to speed up the process, try spicing things up first thing in the morning before he gets to his phone and starts thinking about the tasks in the day ahead. I’m sure he’d rather wake up to a hand in his pants than an iPhone in his pocket.

Best,

V

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September 7, 2010

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