Dear V: I want my swagger back…

Dear V,

I am a super senior here at our great school and I have basically outlasted all of my friends. During freshman year, my friends gave me the nickname “The Beast” and I was pretty much the man. I was athletic, playing ultimate frisbee all throughout my high school years and I could basically hook up with any girl I wanted. As the years have progressed I have basically lost a little bit of my swagger. Most of the girls I hang out with think of me as a chubby big brother. I have been reduced to Little Caesar’s pizza and Asian diaper porn for kicks. What can help me snap out of this super-senior rut?



Dear Snookin’,

Sounds like you’ve been a bit down lately; we’ve got to find something to get you out of this rut. If you were The Beast once, you can do it again, right? Just because your friends are gone and and a few years have passed, doesn’t mean you can’t get your swagger back. It seems like all you need are a few life changes to get you going.

Swagger has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself and the attitude you give off to other people (especially the ladies). If you can find a way to feel like the man again, other people will see it too. Try going to the gym more and maybe getting some new clothes or a new haircut. A new look and feel will help change things up and help reintroduce you to your friends as a force to be reckoned with.

As for the Little Caeser’s and diaper porn, maybe you should try getting out of the house more to shake things up. Going out and being social can help you feel better about yourself too; if you look like you’re having fun, girls will want to have fun with you. Try going out with guys and less of your female friends; this will hopefully make you feel like one of the guys again and girls will recognize you as a stud with an entourage. If you can convince yourself that you’re the man, the ladies will soon follow (just be sure to ditch the dirty mags before you get back to your place).

Hope the Beast comes out of hibernation soon,