What does it feel like?

    What does It feel like?…
    I always know when It’s coming.
    I am a flounder on the other side
    There’s a fisherman tugging
    and I’m taking a Nosedive in Reverse.
    The Hook is unforgiving, defying Gravity in the upward haul.
    Ripping through the roof of my mouth.
    I can’t discern what the Iron Taste belongs to-
    the Hook- or my Own blood?
    Now the nasal cavity stings-
    even after he cuts the elusive string
    and the tension recedes-
    the Hook remains here.
    (And I haven’t had my Tetanus shot
    in the last ten years.)
    It’s like an intricate way of dying
    I always know when It’s coming.
    It feels like going to the dentist knowing you have a cavity…
    waiting in that rubber scented room where there is the Segregation of Teeth.
    The Rotted and the Manicured. It will never be fair.
    But the feeling, It’s that first shot of Novocain.
    A needle tunneling through that pink membrane-
    The Pain.
    But you still have ghostly sensations, Slightly.
    It’s unnerving.
    I always know when It’s coming.
    Starts out with symptoms that imitate
    the Ascent of a roller coaster.
    at the apex of the ride…
    you’re pitched downward and It swallows you at 80 miles an hour.
    And even though you knew, you KNEW It was coming
    It hits you like a badly wallpapered bathroom.
    It feels like driving past a wreck.
    The inclination to stare steers your attention away from the yellow lines.
    There’s screaming but its Just You in the car…
    And there It is- the feeling.
    (realizing it’s your own voice.)
    Somehow you are sitting on the curb
    Barefoot and Confused and this Wreck is You.
    But what it feels like, the feeling, is finding out
    that in the other tangled metal, 4 kids Died.
    But you were Fine.
    What does it feel like?