Dear V: Shower surprises turn my stomach…

Dear V,

Last night, I went to take a shower a short while after my roommate finished taking his shower. When I entered our shower, on the walls and floor I noticed what was quite apparently the fruit of some self-indulgence. As you can imagine, my stomach turned a bit upon seeing this. Now I can’t say that I’m not guilty of some self-indulgence there myself, and I know that asking him to not do it there really isn’t an option, but how can I ask him to at least clean up after he’s done, without sounding too weird?



My dear, confused friend:

I have noticed that discretion is not a recurring theme amidst the UM community this semester.

While your roommate’s remnants have left you seemingly baffled, I find that you are actually thinking quite clearly. You are absolutely right—“self-indulgence” is perfectly fine, but what your roommate is doing is pretty inconsiderate – not to mention, it’s gross.

Was last night an isolated incident? If so, my prayers go out for you that this never happens again. If not, let’s discuss.

Because your randy roommate has chosen shamelessness over subtlety, I say you do the same (no, you do not have to leave him a mess of his own to discover). That is, he doesn’t feel weird about adorning your shower walls with his stains of self-love, so you shouldn’t feel weird about calling him out on it.

In fact, one could argue that the more peculiar option would be if you were to continue showering with his secretions.

Confrontation isn’t easy, but in this case it’s necessary. Simply tell him that if he insists upon spilling his own conditioner in your shared shower, he’s going to have to clean it up. Follow it up with a sharp, “seriously, dude.”

Also, if you are not already showering with flip-flops on, I suggest you start doing so.

Best of luck!