V's Take

Dear V: Am I the next 40-year-old virgin?

V,
 
It has been a long time since my last relationship, and since then I haven’t had sex.  I have heard people say that when a girl doesn’t have sex for a while, she loses all her skill and the next intercourse is painful.  Is there any truth to this?

Sincerely,
Use it or Lose It

Dear Lose It,

Your signature reminds me of The 40 Year Old Virgin. Okay—you’re no virgin, but I understand your concern. There are few people who would want to repeat their first time having sex.
 
In some respects, this “use it or lose it” philosophy is true. In others, it is not.
 
Women do have a tendency to… spring back, so to speak. If you do not have intercourse for a while, your body will in some ways go back to what it was like before you were sexually active.  Essentially, you’ll be less flexible than you were, making sex a little less enjoyable. However, when women lose their virginity, a piece of skin called the hymen breaks. This is often what is associated with much of the pain that comes with the first time. When the hymen breaks, it does not heal. You will never have this problem again.
 
Often, physical pain after a dry spell does not persist. If it does, you might want to consult a doctor. There are a number of simple solutions available for this issue.
 
As far as your skill level is concerned, you probably have not lost any knowledge on how to perform. Think of it this way: have you forgotten about the things you enjoy most in bed?  Have you forgotten any of the little tricks you may have learned from your past experiences? Chances are, you’re probably thinking of them now more than ever!
 
It is safe to say that the longer a sexually active adult goes without sex, the more they want it. The more they want it, the more they think about it. Once you hop back in the sack, I am sure your memory will kick in and guide you.
 
That being said, a lack of sex often makes it all too easy to lower standards. Keep this in mind. Sleeping with the wrong person, whatever the reason might be, could have its consequences. Your patience and permissiveness is more likely to pay off.
 
Best of luck!
 
V

August 26, 2009

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

The Miami Hurricanes started the season No. 8 nationally in both major polls. Now, they’re nowhere t ...

With a bye week on the horizon, the meager University of Miami offense has nearly two weeks to attem ...

As bleak as it seems now for the University of Miami, the Canes can still take a repeat trip to Char ...

A half dozen takeaways from UM’s demoralizing 16-13 loss at Virginia on Saturday: ▪ As was the case ...

So, who’s the quarterback now? The No. 16 Miami Hurricanes came to Charlottesville on Saturday with ...

More than 600 students participate in the National Gandhi Day of Service, the largest annual service ...

Home Truth, the story of Jessica Lenahan’s pursuit of more effective domestic violence laws, screene ...

Members of the UM community who want to donate to relief efforts for those impacted by Hurricanes Mi ...

The University of Miami’s Model UN is working to expand its membership and reputation with its first ...

During a keynote address at a conference in Los Angeles, entrepreneurial heavyweight Magic Leap anno ...

The Miami Hurricanes volleyball team improved to 10-5, 6-2 in the ACC, with a 3-0 sweep of Boston Co ...

The Miami women's tennis team closed the Bedford Cup with a perfect day, winning each match in ...

Playing in front of a boisterous home crowd, the University of Miami soccer team earned a, 1-1, draw ...

The Hurricanes fell in their ACC road opener to the Virginia Cavaliers. ...

The Canes have won five straight games and are 2-0 in the ACC, but they know they have a tough road ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.