V's Take

Dear V: Are physical enhancements defrauding my boyfriend?

Dear V,

My new boyfriend is really cute, and quite frankly, so am I – but not really. I have had several unsightly moles removed from my face, rhinoplasty, hair straightening, orthodontic work, teeth whitening and laser hair-removal. If not for the treatments, I would be unattractive. When my boyfriend tells me he thinks that I am adorable, I feel like I am playing a trick on him. Am I? I wonder if it is my obligation to confess that I am a buck-toothed, moley girl with a big schnoz, a mustache and thick glasses. What should I reveal to him?


Dear Fixed-upper,

Beauty is in the Lasik-corrected eye of the beholder, my friend. The real trick, however, is actually getting beheld. Attraction is the first step toward finding a mate. We notice those who we find sexy. And then we get to know them and like them based on their inner beauty. In your case, “sexy” means a clear complexion, a straight nasal bridge, minimal body hair and a big, bright smile.

Ever since the first caveman fantasized about the cavewoman he etched on the cave wall, there have been standards for beauty. While Ms. Cavewoman might not have had access to a hair salon and a great plastic surgeon, I guarantee that there were things that she did to get herself noticed (puffing out her chest: the boob job of yesteryear). What’s hot and what’s not has certainly changed over the years, especially since now there are so many fast, easy ways to combat your more unfavorable genes.

Don’t be ashamed of your cosmetic touchups. Didn’t you pursue all of these procedures because you were ashamed of your moles, hair, teeth, and nose in the first place? Cosmetic procedures exist not to enhance yourself, but to enhance your confidence. You already admit that you are cute. Your cute face should definitely match your cute attitude! Granted, there is such thing as being over-enhanced, but what you admit to having had done seems quite routine and minor. You know you’re hot, and you are! So you’re not fooling anyone. Your boyfriend is paying you a compliment, so take it!

Keep your beauty secrets to yourself, hold your head high, and don’t sweat it.

-Best of luck!

April 12, 2009



Advice Columnist

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