Girls, really…I’m just not that into you!

Olivia Bernardo
Olivia Bernardo

He’s Just Not That Into You has earned over $70 million in box office sales since its release two weeks ago. So clearly girls across the country are getting it, right? I saw the movie and thought the message was clear; there are no hidden meanings when it comes to guy-girl communications. If a guy wants a woman to know his feelings, he’ll go out of his way to make sure she knows. And most importantly, the world does not revolve around me, or any other chick for that matter. But why do these new rules sent down from the Hollywood heavens have to be restricted to male-female relations?

Ladies everywhere… it is time to stop flattering yourselves. From one girl to another, I’m just not that into you. You make shit up and then think and talk about it excessively. I have proof. So I’m calling you out.

Exhibit A: When I raise the roof in the middle of a crowded bar, I am not throwing up your sorority’s super secret hi-sign. You don’t have to ask me to refrain from using it. It just so happened that I was unaware brothel members received permission to trademark generic hand gestures- my deepest apologies. That said, I’m not making fun of you. Whatever secret stuff your sorority does is your thing. Just leave me out of it.

Exhibit B: If I give you a compliment, I’m actually giving you a compliment. If I say you look especially pretty, I am not saying that you don’t normally look pretty. If I say you look skinny, I am not saying you’re anorexic. I mean what I say and say what I mean.

Exhibit C: When I get introduced to you and I know your name, it’s not because I have been Facebook stalking you since our first encounter. It doesn’t deserve a whisper to your BFF. I don’t wish we were best friends…it’s just that I’ve met you three times already.

It’s time for all of us girls to finally grow up. High school is over, the guy that you liked has left you for all the right reasons, and your future boss will not be interested nor impressed with your ability to recite sorority lingo. Send my apologies to your mother, but I disagree whole-heartedly with her on one issue: you’re not that special. You’re not the best thing since sliced bread. If he’s not into you, there is probably good reason. Maybe it’s possible that someone else is not as obsessed with you as you are.