V's Take

Dear V: After V-Day love, I want to break it off. When should I say it?

Dear V,

I just got back from my Valentine’s Day date with my girlfriend of nine months. The dinner was going very well until my girlfriend told me that she loved me. I of course panicked and lied to her when I said, “I love you too.” Once she dropped that emotional bomb on me, I realized that I don’t have any romantic feelings for her anymore and want to end things. How soon after Valentine’s Day is it okay to dump her?

-The Heartbreak Kid

Dear Kid,

“Emotional bomb,” huh? You make romance sound like warfare. Duck and cover, your girlfriend loves you! You also make a little, pink Hallmark-holiday sound like a sacred, holy day. Here is the shocking truth: you went on a date last Saturday with a girl you’re seeing and she dropped the “L” word (gasp!).

The time of year should never dictate your feelings. You are entitled to move on whenever you’d like. That’s what dating is all about.

However, it is never a good time of year to mislead people. I know you don’t want to break her heart, because obviously she means something to you – even if your feelings aren’t romantic. So be honest. Tell her the “L” word scares you at this time because you aren’t at a point in your life when you are ready to make that declaration. There is nothing wrong with that.

It is all too common to see a guy who wants out of a relationship that starts acting like a bachelor: never calling, talking less, lying and, dare I say it, slacking in the sack! Nobody wants that to happen. Can we agree on that? All the while, both you and your girlfriend can be spared. Don’t be a chicken. Man up.

If you want to end things, end things. Heartbreak is never pretty, any time of the year. But we are young, resilient people and her heart will mend. She’ll be okay!

You and your future ex both deserve to be happy. Prolonging a failed relationship is an obvious, surefire way to keep you both miserable.

And since you seem to care about the interests of both parties, I trust that you’ll do the right thing. Best of luck!

V

P.S. Or you can always wait a few weeks and then start a meaningless fight… just kidding!

February 18, 2009

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Is there an apt comparison for this year’s American League Championship series between the Boston Re ...

If the University of Miami defense isn’t boiling with frustration by now, it must be simmering in an ...

Miami Hurricanes redshirt senior Gerald Willis was the lone UM football player chosen for the Associ ...

A new batch of evidence presented Monday at the college basketball trial in New York seems to furthe ...

University of Miami coach Mark Richt apparently is a fan of President Teddy Roosevelt’s — or at leas ...

Fareed Zakaria, a CNN host, journalist and author, tells UM students that globalization and technolo ...

The program, in which UM students mentor high school students, aims to get first generation students ...

Dr. Ralph Sacco, a top neurologist and researcher at the University of Miami Miller School of Medici ...

U.S. Congresswoman and Chairman Emerita of the House Committee on Foreign Affairs Ileana Ros-Lehtine ...

Nearly 400 students participate in the National Gandhi Day of Service, the largest annual service da ...

The Miami Hurricanes volleyball team improved to 10-5, 6-2 in the ACC, with a 3-0 sweep of Boston Co ...

The Miami women's tennis team closed the Bedford Cup with a perfect day, winning each match in ...

"In The Pool" is a series highlighting the University of Miami swimming & diving stude ...

Playing in front of a boisterous home crowd, the University of Miami soccer team earned a, 1-1, draw ...

The Hurricanes fell in their ACC road opener to the Virginia Cavaliers. ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.