Dear V: How can I get my girlfriend to clear out the brush?

Dear V,

There is a situation with my girlfriend that I’m not sure how to handle delicately. To put it gently, she needs a serious trim. She loves to go to the beach, which makes things even more awkward. How can I approach the topic and get her to prune her bush?

Can’t See the Forest for the Trees

Dear Forest,

Just like traffic lights, the news of the day and styles of clothes – things change. When asked, “What has changed after 20 years in the slammer?” an ex-convict replied, “All the women are shaving down there!”

It is no secret that this type of grooming is available in multiple forms, either as a do-it-yourself project or through the professional efforts of an aesthetician. I personally think in a beach environment, attention to this particular personal detail is de rigueur.

Keep in mind, however, that approaching a female over an issue of grooming or appearances is no easy task. This could be the kiss of death for you. If this is truly bothersome to you, be prepared to turn on the charm. It’s all in the delivery, my friend:

Approach it as a fun project! Tell your gal that a smooth surface is a turn-on for you. Suggest that an offer to de-fuzz her peach could lead to an erotic episode. Just be direct and say what is on your mind. But remember, turnabout is fair play! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander – you may find yourself waxing more then your surfboard before your next trip to the beach.

And what would my February 12th letter be without mentioning my favorite holiday? I’d like to point out that many aestheticians attest to an annual slew of male clients who show up to fashion a little below-the-belt heart for their Valentine to… unwrap. So much for chocolates – now there is some serious food for thought!

I always close my letters by wishing my readers the “best of luck.” In this case, you’re really going to need it!

Happy Valentine’s Day!