V's Take

Hurriqueen: How should I deal with familial relations?

Hey Hurriqueen,

I hope this doesn’t sound totally gross, but for most of this semester I’ve been getting pretty intense with my second cousin. I had never met him until four years ago when I came to the U.S. and hadn’t seen him in almost a year. This semester he’s been coming over every weekend non-stop and we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other. We cuddle, we kiss and we even do all the relationship-y stuff. I admitted I had feelings for him, but even though he acts like he has feelings for me too, he keeps putting up stops. What’s up with this?


Dear Confused,

Just when I thought I had heard it all, just when I thought I had an opinion on everything, you go ahead and ask me a question related to incest. Incest! Oh sweetie, I am just as confused as you are.

Personally, I’ve never been attracted to my cousins, but that’s hardly justification to judge you. While researching incest, I learned that Charles Darwin’s wife Emma Wedgewood was also his first cousin. If the father of evolution was cool with first cousins getting busy, surely your, uh, relations with your second cousin can’t be that bad. Right? I dunno; the verdict’s still out.

But while I may lack a solid opinion, the reality is the people in your life, particularly your love interest and your family, do have an opinion. Let’s start with your make-out partner. Something is preventing your cousin from making your relationship official. Does he have a moral objection to incest? If so, he likely wants you to be his girlfriend, but can’t get past his feelings of guilt.

Your cuz could also be an insensitive pig who is using you for affection but doesn’t have the balls to deal with your family’s reaction to the truth. Either way, you need to find out how he truly feels. It would be destructive to continue pushing for a relationship that’s never going to happen.

But let’s say your cousin decides he wants you to be his girl, with a Facebook relationship request and all of that other tacky hoopla. How would the people in your life react? Is Mom going to cry tears of joy, or beg Father Willy to save your soul? Is Dad going to tell your cousin he’s the son he’s always wanted, or grab his baseball bat? These are serious questions to consider!

I’m not saying your behavior should be entirely contingent upon what everyone else thinks. God knows I’ve busted a few moves that have made my parents’ heads spin. I just want you to make sure you can be happy with your decision, regardless of what people have to say.

Please keep me updated! I have a feeling you’re going to have some interesting family dinners this holiday season. You better dish, girl!


The Hurriqueen

I’m on winter holiday, bitches! No more questions…for now.

November 23, 2008



Advice Columnist

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