V's Take

Dear V: How can I get to know my on-campus crush?

Dear V,

I’m a commuter student who has many friends off campus, but not many on campus. Recently, I met this guy in one of my classes whom I friended on Facebook, and I realized we share many quirky qualities. I would like to hang out with him outside of class, but don’t know how to go about it since we don’t hang out with the same people nor in the same places. How do I approach him without making it seem like “Hey, I have a crush on you?”

~Crushing in Class

 

Dear Crushing in Class, 

I’ve always considered myself to be the proactive type, which doesn’t necessarily mean being too forward or awkward. It just shows confidence and initiative and, personally, I think that’s a winning bet. Go for something casual at first, like invite him to grab lunch or dinner after class. That way it’ll seem like the idea to go to lunch just came to you and you didn’t stress about asking.

Getting to know him outside of the classroom is a great idea. He’ll get the chance to think of you as more than just a cool classmate who sits next to him every Tuesday and Thursday. He’ll start to think of you as a friend, and who knows? Maybe he’ll even develop romantic feelings for you, if he doesn’t already have them. Sounds like a good plan to me.

Don’t let little things like being a commuter or having completely different social circles scare you. Overcoming those minor differences is what allows you to meet new people and avoid those immediate limitations. This advice applies not only to meeting potential boyfriends, but anything in life, like friends, jobs, etc. Step outside the boundaries every once in a while and you’ll have so much more fun.

Maybe your guy will get the picture after that initial lunch invitation that you want get to know him a little more. If not, don’t worry! Ask again, but maybe invite him out to the Grove on Thursday night. Sure, you might get a little anxious at the thought of doing that, but this is the boundary stepping I was talking about. Trust me, it’s fun and the more you do it, the easier it gets!

There’s nothing wrong with letting someone know you’re interested in them. You’re being mature and confident, not slipping him a note in the middle of class saying, “I like you. Do you like me back?” This is college, and this is how big kids show their feelings. If he makes you feel bad about that, then he’s the weirdo with the cooties, not you.

November 19, 2008

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Friday was strange for Gino DiMare. It wasn’t because his whole family went out to the mound at Alex ...

One thing was obvious to Wayne Younger the first time he got his hands on Ladarius Tennison: The ath ...

Though it’s early, UM already has assembled an outstanding nine-member 2020 recruiting class, a grou ...

Three days before they open their season against the Rutgers Scarlet Knights, the Miami Hurricanes h ...

The first half of Wednesday night’s game was as lousy as the weather outside the Watsco Center, as t ...

UM alumna Alina Mayo Azze, who has covered a myriad of topics during her 37-year career, has been a ...

Happiness and well-being scholar Tal Ben-Shahar is UM’s newest Distinguished Presidential Scholar. ...

The University of Miami will host the first symposium to explore LGBTQ human rights across the Ameri ...

UM experts react to a new ban that prohibits people in Key West from using certain types of sunscree ...

A matchmaker extraordinaire, Ricardo Cepeda, the manager of the UM Zebrafish Facility, is passionate ...

The University of Miami baseball team opened the Gino DiMare era with a record-setting victory over ...

The Canes open the 75th season in program history and first under the direction of head coach Gino D ...

Game time is 6 p.m. in Chestnut Hill, Mass. ...

The No. 20 Miami women's basketball team will play its second top-five foe in a span of three g ...

The University of Miami golf team heads to the Big Easy to open competition Sunday at the 2019 Allst ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.