I’m a commuter student who has many friends off campus, but not many on campus. Recently, I met this guy in one of my classes whom I friended on Facebook, and I realized we share many quirky qualities. I would like to hang out with him outside of class, but don’t know how to go about it since we don’t hang out with the same people nor in the same places. How do I approach him without making it seem like “Hey, I have a crush on you?”
~Crushing in Class
Dear Crushing in Class,
I’ve always considered myself to be the proactive type, which doesn’t necessarily mean being too forward or awkward. It just shows confidence and initiative and, personally, I think that’s a winning bet. Go for something casual at first, like invite him to grab lunch or dinner after class. That way it’ll seem like the idea to go to lunch just came to you and you didn’t stress about asking.
Getting to know him outside of the classroom is a great idea. He’ll get the chance to think of you as more than just a cool classmate who sits next to him every Tuesday and Thursday. He’ll start to think of you as a friend, and who knows? Maybe he’ll even develop romantic feelings for you, if he doesn’t already have them. Sounds like a good plan to me.
Don’t let little things like being a commuter or having completely different social circles scare you. Overcoming those minor differences is what allows you to meet new people and avoid those immediate limitations. This advice applies not only to meeting potential boyfriends, but anything in life, like friends, jobs, etc. Step outside the boundaries every once in a while and you’ll have so much more fun.
Maybe your guy will get the picture after that initial lunch invitation that you want get to know him a little more. If not, don’t worry! Ask again, but maybe invite him out to the Grove on Thursday night. Sure, you might get a little anxious at the thought of doing that, but this is the boundary stepping I was talking about. Trust me, it’s fun and the more you do it, the easier it gets!
There’s nothing wrong with letting someone know you’re interested in them. You’re being mature and confident, not slipping him a note in the middle of class saying, “I like you. Do you like me back?” This is college, and this is how big kids show their feelings. If he makes you feel bad about that, then he’s the weirdo with the cooties, not you.