Febreze your boyfriend, protect against STDs

Q. The guy I like has a great personality but everytime I see him, he smells absolutely horrible – like a mixture of cigarettes, sweat and old dirty water rags! He’s always on-the-go, and I guess he doesn’t have much time to groom himself. How can I constructively tell him he stinks, and what health advice can I offer him to help clean up his act?

A: Ew. Okay, first, if you are interested in a guy who is so busy that he can’t care for himself, what makes you think that he will have time for you? He works, he goes to school – he cant take a shower? Woman, try liking a guy who likes himself! But if you can’t get your heart to let the smelly boy go, you might want to make a cute little care package with nicely scented things included, such as Febreze, colognes like AXE and maybe some gum and breath mints. Make it cute, like you were just thinking about him, NOT that you were thinking he stinks like a old sock! If you have a major problem with his breath, always offer him gum before you guys make out and make sure to chew some too so he doesn’t get insulted. Also if you guys are gonna get sweaty you might as well do it in the shower… there is nothing hotter than soaping each other up and getting all clean.

Q. I am so afraid of STDs and HIV and I realized that I could be sleeping with someone who might have a disease. I’m scared that anyone I hook up with might infect me with something, yet I would have no idea. What can I do to avoid getting infected?

A. Well, for starters, you can stop having sex! Okay, I didn’t really think that was going to work; after all, we are college students. I am a huge supporter of condom usage. If you are going to do anything sexual, I suggest using a condom. This includes sexual contact that may not result in pregnancy, i.e. oral or anal sex. Remember, you are protecting yourself, so if the guy protests about the condoms ditch him and find a new man. If he doesn’t want you to use a condom then he’s probably had other partners not use condoms, which makes him at higher risk of diseases. Also, I would stay away from high-risk behaviors such as anal sex, rough sex and unprotected sex when you are with someone whose sexual history may be less than pristine. And yes, that really nice guy you met in The Grove who you think is great and clean is included in the above statement. I also suggest getting tested frequently, especially if you are consistently having sex. I suggest getting tested at least every six months and maybe more if you are partaking in high-risk sexual activity. I also completely support and suggest looking into Gardasil, the human papillomavirus vaccine (HPV) that protects against HPV types 6, 11, 16 and 18. It additionally protects against the two types of HPV that cause 70 percent of cervical cancer cases and two other HPV strains that protect against 90 percent of genital warts cases. Here’s the bottom line: you can never be 100 percent sure of your partner’s health and sexual past, but if you take precautions you can decrease the potential risks and still have fun.