V's Take

Dear V: Dishonesty about future plans could jeopardize everything

V,

I am a sophomore here at Miami and I am in a dilemma. I have always believed that it is the duty of every American to give back to our country. For me, this has always come in the form of becoming an officer in the military. My original plan was to take officer classes over the summer and enlist after I graduate. Like most plans, they sound good on paper but don’t end up that way. I am now involved in a very serious relationship. We have even consolidated households to conserve money. Marriage has been discussed, even the names of our future children. She supports everything I do except my ambition to join the military. She makes it clear that she does not want me to join. I have not told her that I have been in contact with recruiters and have begun the application process for officer school because I am afraid of her reaction. Joining the military is very important to me; however, I don’t want to lose her. What should I do?

– G.I. ‘Woe’

Dear GI ‘Woe’,

The courage of a solider is one of the most honorable qualities in an American. We are indebted to the brave souls who have stood up for our country and thank our veterans for their sacrifices, but responsibility to that which we love can be expressed in more than one way.

The love you have for your girlfriend should be honored in a mature way. By lying to her about your intentions with the military, you put at risk the future you have planned together. Honesty and respect are probably the most important aspects in a relationship, and by ignoring it you set yourself up for trouble. Be upfront with your girlfriend and things will work out a lot better than if you lie about it.

You said it yourself: Life doesn’t always work out the way you planned it. But if it’s any consolation, another truth about life is that it tends to work out in the end anyways. In your case, you are caught choosing between two things that are really important to you. If worse comes to worst, then you still end up with at least one of those things you love. And if things turn out ideally, you end up with both. 

You’re young, you have a bright future and you still have a few years left in college. I say be honest and trust in what is right.

Best of luck!

V

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@themiamihurricane.com.

September 18, 2008

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Error
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

RSS Error: WP HTTP Error: fsocket timed out

Father, mother, and daughter will all be students at the University of Miami this fall semester. ...

UM weather expert and senior research associate Brian McNoldy explains the science behind lightning ...

As students make their way back to campus for the new school year, here’s a refresher on some of the ...

President Julio Frenk and student leaders formally welcome first-year and transfer students to campu ...

Marc Gellman, a University of Miami research associate professor, recounts his experience attending ...

Sophomores Brevin Jordan and Will Mallory look to follow in the footsteps of the greats before them ...

Jarren Williams stepped into the spotlight for the first time Tuesday as Miami's starting quart ...

Former Miami soccer player Dalanda Ouendeno is attempting to become the first foreign female pit cre ...

Head coach Aljosa Piric announces 2019 fall slate. ...

Miami women's basketball team dominated its final game in Italy by defeating the Venice All Sta ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.