V's Take

Dear V: Options remain despite penetration pain

V,

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years and we currently live together. We are very happy together and our social life is not the problem. The problem is with our sex life. Let’s just say I am well endowed and she is a tiny, skinny girl. It seems that no matter what we do, my girlfriend is always in pain after sex. She enjoys it during the act; however, sometimes it hurts so much she cannot be touched for several days. It has gotten to the point where we can only have sex twice a week (a difficult task when sleeping in the same bed!) and even then, it can only be missionary or forward cowgirl because any other position hurts. We have tried everything I can think of and we have been tested for STDs so we know this is not the issue. Any advice?  

-Large and Confused

Dear Large and Confused,

It stinks that there is so much hype about the ‘bigger is better’ stigma, especially when you’re at the short end of the stick. Or long end. But at least your relationship isn’t doomed simply due to this fact. Let’s size up your problem in more detail (I promise that’s the last pun in this article).

I know you mentioned that you’ve tried everything, but it’s worth going over it again. Make sure she is really aroused before penetration. And by “really aroused” I mean that it could take up to an hour for her to get there. Using a vibrator can be a sexy and effective way of gauging whether or not her body is as ready as her mind is. Plus, it’ll give her another size to compare to and another way to decide if it’s actually your size that’s the problem, not another medical reason other than STDs.

Lube is also another major component of intercourse for most couples, with or without size issues. If you haven’t fully discovered the joys of lube, now is the time. And don’t forget to reapply during the act. 

Lastly, there are products you can buy at sex stores for people with extra length. They are called “limiters” and are basically a thick ring of soft rubber that you put at the base to prevent the deepest penetration. It might seem kind of silly at first, but if the thought of one thrust too deep causes anxiety, then the freedom they allow is wonderful.

Best of luck!

V

 

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@themiamihurricane.com.

September 11, 2008

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Even after snagging Ohio State transfer Tate Martell, UM has remained highly aggressive in its pursu ...

As the NFL’s conference finals were unfolding Sunday, Manny Diaz – the UM coach who doubles as a soc ...

The University of Miami womens’ basketball team made sure North Carolina fans didn’t get to celebrat ...

Throughout the four years he spent as a tackle for the Miami Hurricanes, Tyree St. Louis never consi ...

Finally, a marquee home game for the University of Miami men’s basketball team, a game big enough th ...

The University of Miami brings together leaders in academia, professional practice, and industry to ...

On Dec. 14, 2018 universal health care programs in both the United States and Mexico were dealt sign ...

For the first time in more than 15 years, two of UMTV’s weekly shows were nominated for the Televisi ...

Miami Transplant Institute performed 681 transplants during 2018, setting a new national record in k ...

Jazz aficionados launch new video series by sharing invaluable performance techniques. ...

The Miami women's basketball team will play its highest-ranked opponent of the season thus far ...

Beatrice Mompremier of the Miami women's basketball team was named the ACC Player of the Week, ...

The Miami women's basketball team defeated North Carolina for the fourth consecutive year with ...

Former University of Miami soccer standout Phallon Tullis-Joyce has officially signed a professional ...

The University of Miami men's tennis team improved to 3-0 on the season following a 6-1 triumph ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.