The Miami Hurricane is a rag. I always start with the opinion section. If I can stomach that, I move on to features. I rarely make it that far.
Every issue I have to remind myself you don’t cover real news. This newspaper is about student interests and activities. Which apparently means it is about students who are incapable of reminding their suitemates to lock the door and students who write alliterations like they are Dr. Seuss (“a clamorous cluster of Canes,” pg. 4, and “nightlife know-how,” pg. 9). Do I need to get my English professor from freshman year to tell you how stupid that sounds in news article? Really? Maybe I’ve paid too much attention to Strunk and White, but I don’t think “When everything was all said and done, and when people will look back at this game…” is an appropriate way to start anything (pg. 11). I could keep going on style, but I hope you’ve gotten the point.
The content is a totally different offense. Felipe Yanez should pick a new major. All CNN reporters are either smart or attractive, and he is neither. Last semester there was the opinion piece that explored the true meaning of “how are you?” I thought editorials could not get any stupider. Then there was Yanez who was given a whole page to insult Kappa Sigs, African Americans, white people who want to be black, people who play Magic the Gathering, and me. Great first impression, Mr. Yanez.
The Republican National Convention closed on Thursday. Great job taking notice. Student voters have the potential to change what happens in this election more than almost any other demographic. There were over 50 students at the UM Young Democrats meeting tonight. They could all tell you how directly this election affects us. There are like five hurricanes coming our way (pretty sure those matter to students). I wouldn’t even mind a lifestyle piece on Buttercream Cupcakes and Coffee or other local eateries.
Please learn how to write. Thanks.