There’s a good chance that right now you can hear a persistent drum beat. Wait a second. There it is. And again. It’s Iron Arrow, your favorite elitist on-campus organization, celebrating the induction of new members. The process of selecting members (and officers) for the “highest honor attained at the University of Miami” is very rigorous. Many members have perfect GPAs, all members must have some group or organization to which they have made significant contributions, and all new members must be unanimously approved by the “tribe.”
They refer to themselves as the tribe because in the process of forming back in 1926, their founding fathers decided to base their traditions on those of the Seminole Indians. However, since then the Seminoles have split into several factions, including the Miccosukee Tribe of Florida and the Cleveland Indians. (Just joking about the Cleveland Indians part, but is it a coincidence that since the separation of the two tribes they have not won a single World Series? The answer is: of course.) The jackets they wear are Miccosukee jackets. I believe they only come in a single size: One Size Fits None. Their bright colors and awkward fit help to make Iron Arrow-ians stand out, which is something they love to do. occasionally.
Iron Arrow participates in a number of activities at the University of Miami, and in this way its members serve as visible campus leaders. Roberto Castro, the chief (or president) of the tribe, said that its goals are to “maintain UM traditions” and to “stay connected with the UM community.” Castro is a current student at UM, as all officers must be. When I met with him, he explained to me the structure and activities of Iron Arrow as much as he could. Unfortunately, the phrases “I can’t disclose” and “I can’t reveal” were repeated several times in our conversation.
A large part of Iron Arrow’s tradition is secrecy. Mr. Castro said there is a “delicate balance between secrecy and involvement,” and that any resulting elitism is simply “misconstrued.” He obviously was not free to reveal to me any of those private traditions. Understanding his personal obligations, the only thing I wanted to know was why they existed. It turns out that there’s a very good reason for the confidentiality: in the year ****, ***** ******** tried to blank blank with ******* in order to ******. This was a huge success. Unfortunately, due to the sensitive nature of ******, Mr. ****** was forced to ********.
If you are not satisfied with this explanation, and Iron Arrow still seems a bit full of **** to you, please feel free to contact ***** ********** at ***-***-****.
Anthony Vega is a sophomore majoring in finance and English. He may be contacted at email@example.com.