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Investing in non-commited jerk isn’t worth it

V,

What do you think of the saying “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Let me explain. I’m dating a guy who refuses to be monogamous, so I told him I won’t sleep with him anymore. We still hang out all the time, spend the night a lot, and even without sex, I feel so close to him! We cuddle all the time, we understand each other and I love waking up with someone holding me close. Some people say that our relationship is unhealthy because he won’t commit to just me, what do you think?

~Cow for Sale

Dear Cow for Sale,

The classic underlying idea here is that by withholding sex, a woman hold’s the power in a relationship and can thereby change a man. Well, let me drop a little bit of knowledge here: people aren’t fixer-uppers, what you see is what you get.

Staying in this ‘relationship,’ withholding sex or not, is not going to do anything but make you feel more like the pushover you are right now.

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, you ask? Oh, it’s simple. If a guy is fine lying around with you cuddling all the time, then he’s just not that into you.

Clearly, if a guy wanted you, then he would want you. And in your case, this guy isn’t exactly trying to buy your ‘milk’ by playing your sex-withholding game; he’s simply getting it from who knows how many other free cows.

You say you like waking up next to someone every morning and having a cuddle partner. Well, that’s what pets are for! A cute little puppy will not only cuddle with you day in and day out, but he will also wear an adorable little medallion around his neck saying ‘Property of Sally,’ which coincidentally, your current choice of man will not.

You’ve already been through the humiliation of being told point blank that this jerk won’t even consider being with only you. Why should you continue putting yourself and your emotions at the whim of such a selfish and insensitive person?

You deserve a real man for yourself, not some scumbag whose joy in life is predetermined to be found in the beds of strangers, with a possible STD on the side.

Best of luck!
V

Fact o’ the day: Men with more testosterone make smooth talkers. A study found that regular injections of the hormone made men more articulate and persuasive.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com. Do it! All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

February 28, 2008

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The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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