Uncategorized

Kiss and tell: Roommates with benefits

V,

I live in an apartment with three other girls. I’ve been secretly hooking up with one of my roommates for a while now. We’re not dating or anything, we just really like kissing. I don’t think the other girls suspect anything, but I don’t know if we should tell them or just wait to get caught. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Should we say something to our roommates?

~ Dirty Little Secret

Dear Reader,

Well, there are certainly a lot of things to consider before you decide whether or not to tell your roommates about your secret trysts.

For starters, what’s your sexual preference, anyway? I ask this not because it really matters, but because it may make a difference in how you deliver the message about your make-out sessions to your roommates. I guarantee the bomb you drop will have much more of an impact if they didn’t know you were attracted to girls in the first place. If this is the case, you run the risk of upsetting your roommates for keeping them in the dark about a much larger part of your life.

Of course, that all depends on whether your roommates double as your friends. If not, they have no real reason to be concerned about which sex you’re in to.

What might trouble them, however, is if there’s a romantic relationship going on in their apartment that they were unaware of. Are you sure your secret meetings are purely physical? You and your roommate eat together, share a bathroom and are only separated by a few walls at any given moment. You’ve seen one another at your worst. Considering your close proximity, it would be easy for a sexual relationship to turn emotional.

Before you take things any further, think about whether or not you really want to be involved with someone you live with. Sure, there are perks (like sleepovers without having to worry about schlepping your belongings to and from the other person’s place), but you risk losing a sense of autonomy. Are you willing to give that up?

If you decide to continue the affair, don’t let your roommates find out by walking in on you two. Your apartment is their home too and they deserve to feel comfortable there. I don’t mean to imply that they should have any say of whom you choose to kiss. They simply ought to know what’s going on under their own roof. If that means a few minutes of awkward conversation, so be it. Fess up and make life easier for everyone.

Best of luck!

V

Fact O’ the Day: Most adolescent homosexual experiences occur with peers. One survey revealed that about 10 percent of college men and six percent of women had at least one homosexual partner in high school.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Miami Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

November 1, 2007

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Though it’s early, UM already has assembled an outstanding nine-member 2020 recruiting class, a grou ...

Three days before they open their season against the Rutgers Scarlet Knights, the Miami Hurricanes h ...

The first half of Wednesday night’s game was as lousy as the weather outside the Watsco Center, as t ...

UM coach Manny Diaz took his staff to the Florida Keys on Tuesday evening to visit with famous Keys ...

Dominic Mammarelli didn’t only commit to the Miami Hurricanes because of Mark Richt and his old staf ...

The University of Miami will host the first symposium to explore LGBTQ human rights across the Ameri ...

UM experts react to a new ban that prohibits people in Key West from using certain types of sunscree ...

A matchmaker extraordinaire, Ricardo Cepeda, the manager of the UM Zebrafish Facility, is passionate ...

The Shelley family shares their story of four generations at the University of Miami. ...

Mark Rowlands, a University of Miami professor who adopted and raised a wolf-dog cub, observed the s ...

The Canes open the 75th season in program history and first under the direction of head coach Gino D ...

The No. 15 Miami women's tennis team is set to open league competition Saturday afternoon with ...

ACC unveils opponents for 20-game conference schedules for next three seasons. ...

Miami tops Clemson 65-64, as Johnson hits game-winner with 0.4 seconds remaining. ...

The Miami women's tennis team ascended two spots in this week's Oracle/ITA team rankings a ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.