Roommates from hell

“The second week of school I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard some noise. I opened my eyes and realized my roommate was having sex in the bed next to me! I didn’t know what to do. Do I make it super awkward and be like, ‘Hey guys, I’m awake!’ or just pretend I was still asleep? I ended up pretending to be asleep, and the guy was still there the next morning naked. Later my roommate told me that ‘nothing happened’ between them.”

-Anonymous; Hecht, Pentland Tower; sophomore

“I had a suitemate who had severe ADHD, which is fine, but he stopped taking his medication for a week. His side of the room was so filthy that ants were having a party under his bed. So, one Saturday morning, we all went to go eat breakfast. When we came back, we saw his bed in the hallway along with the green lining that’s glued to the base of the floor. We went into the room and saw the carpet folded back, and he was on his hands and knees in boxers combating the ants with a bleach pen. He made a perimeter of bleach around his entire side of the room to prevent any ants from coming in. The thousands of ants that couldn’t escape were individually circled in bleach. When we walked in, the first thing he said was, ‘Check this out. When the ants hit the bleach, they start walking backwards in circles until they die.’ There was so much bleach in the room that we couldn’t be in there for longer than a minute. Only he slept in the room that night. Needless to say, he missed every class the next day.”

-Michael Williams, junior

“My roommate is very.interesting. Sometimes I wake up and my roommate will be standing over me, staring. And the first night I got a shock when she was standing stark naked in front of me.”

-Anonymous; Hecht, Pentland Tower; freshman

“My roommate lied about me a lot. I’d hear her on the phone in the morning and she would tell people that I didn’t come in until 1 a.m., when really she was the one who would come back drunk every weekend. And she went through my stuff constantly. I eventually left notes hidden inside my drawers for her to find.”

-Anonymous; Stanford, Walsh Tower; sophomore

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