And now for something completely different

To the freshmen: By now you have probably settled into your cozy little dungeons-I mean dorms-and are adapting to living away from home. Well believe it or not, all the hype of moving into the freshmen dorms this year will not exist next year in Pearson/Mahoney. As sophomores you will have the following to look forward to (which I experienced this year, much to my dismay):

1. No entourage!

Mom will not be moving you in for three days, carefully writing your name on everything so that your roommate will not eat your oodles of noodles. In fact, this year my own sweet mother hurriedly left within two hours with the words “I’ll miss you. not really”.

2. Co-ed floors.

Pearson, Mahoney and Eaton all have co-ed floors which are a great way to meet more people and encourage friendships, as well as an excellent way of uniting members of the opposite sex with minimal Resident Assistant control.

3. You now share a bathroom with three people, instead of thirty-nine.

Sounds super, except for one little thing: You have to clean it. This includes (but is not limited to) unclogging toilets and scrubbing showers and sinks. An important thing to remember is that the bathroom doors do not lock, so you must KNOCK before you enter. This is crucial. Please remember this even if you are intoxicated. Especially if you are intoxicated. It does not foster suitemate friendship if you barge in on your suitemate urinating at 2 a.m.

4. In the upperclassmen dorms there lurks another fun surprise: moveable furniture!

Now you can move your bed around as well as your dresser and desk (with removable corkboard thingy) which allows you to add a touch of personality to your dorm room. Some choose to put both desks back-to-back so that each person has their own little “miniroom”; it is also a convenient way for you to fool around with your friend from across the hall without the prying eyes of your conservative roommate glaring at you from across the room.

5. You know your roommate.

That is, if you stayed with the same one, or if it’s your friend. This has considerable advantages which include that you now know your roommate’s behavior, sleeping habits, and taste in music (I believe my roommate discovered her passion for heavy metal over the summer without my knowledge).

There you have it, freshmen! A glimpse into the future! Sounds great, eh? Enjoy your time showering with forty other people, and even though you will be sharing a bathroom with only a select few next year, keep your shower shoes handy.

Lisa Magedler is a sophomore majoring in creative writing. She would like to apologize to her suitemate (who shall remain nameless) for that time she didn’t knock.