Editorial: Life ain’t fair for all dorm residents

Living in the dorms as a freshman is quite the adventure, particularly in Hecht and Stanford. These two dorms provide freshmen (and some upperclassmen) with a sterotypically crazy and fun college-dorm experience.

All dorms are not created equal, however, and it’s the little things that separate Stanford from Hecht, and any other dorm, for that matter.

For instance, Stanford knows what it’s like to lose at SportsFest, which is ironic, given its proximity to the intramural fields. And because Stanford is so close to the IM fields, it gets to hear the Band of the Hour rehearse every other day, in all its glory, much to the dismay of napping students.

But the one thing that visiting students will notice, the one thing that truly distinguishes Stanford from Hecht, is the elevators. As with SportsFest, Hecht has the upper hand on this one. It boasts fancy elevators, complete with fake wooden panels and floor buttons that light up, conveniently reminding you which floors the elevator is due to stop at.

By contrast, Stanford’s elevators have an austere, blue-gray finish, dim lighting, and the floor buttons don’t light up, leaving the door wide open (no pun intended) for pranksters who live on the third floor to hit every floor button up to the 12th floor, much to the dismay of the next passenger. As if those lazy bums who take the elevator to the second floor (while you live on the 12th) weren’t enough.

Add to that the fact that Stanford’s elevators tend to occasionally stall, stop and trap helpless freshmen in between floors (seemingly more often than Hecht’s, though this has not been statistically confirmed), and you wonder why they don’t just go ahead and re-name Stanford “The Towers of Terror.”

Keep in mind, while at first it seems laughable that Stanford’s main distinguisher from Hecht is its elevators, the exact same situation is mirrored in Mahoney-Pearson. Once again, Mahoney gets the fake wooden finish, lit floor buttons, and a kitchen on the sixth floor, to boot, while Pearson gets screwed with the Cold War-era finish and non-lit buttons in its elevators, one of which always seems to be out of order.

So if the elevators are so messed up, how does the university go about fixing them? Very simple: ease off on the huge projects and fix the small stuff before it gets bigger. While students years from now will surely enjoy the benefits of the proposed long term construction, current students riding elevators in buildings like Stanford and Pearson are left wondering if they’ve been forgotten about. Holding off on the new UC, for instance, would leave extra funds to add fake wooden finishes to all the elevators, and we would all feel a little less sticky and claustrophoic while riding them. The administration should add more parking spaces, while they’re at it, and there’ll still be enough funds left over for more than a few palm trees. Everybody wins.