For as long as I can remember, Americans seem to be obsessed with finding the next great diet drink. There was Tab, then there was Diet Dr. Pepper’s claim that it tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper. Pepsi One had a full one calorie of taste. All of these drinks had their run before eventually fizzling out, and becoming another footnote in American pop culture history.
In recent months, there has been a new diet soda fad to sweep across the country: Coke Zero. Coke Zero’s claims to tasting just like Coca Cola come complete with commercials where people from Coca Cola bring a hidden camera into an attorneys office, while they ask the attorney if they can sue a department of their own company for taste infringement.
Another commercial features an old man thinking that by reciting random facts it will some how convince his grandson he has had a Coke before. All the while, the grandfather doesn’t realize it’s a Coke Zero, because it tastes so much like Coca Cola.
Amongst all the hoopla Coke is creating around this product, I decide to purchase a Coke Zero and give it a try. After a sip, I was as confused as the lawyers Coca Cola goes to sue Coke Zero in their absurd commercials. This product tastes nothing like regular Coke-it has the same disgusting aftertaste as every other diet soda. I think I might go see those same lawyers they did, I’ll ask them if I can sue Coke Zero for false advertising and get my $1.25 back.
It’s really not surprising that no one has yet to find away to make artificial sweeteners taste like regular sugar products. Diet Dr. Pepper does not taste more like regular Dr. Pepper. The one calorie in Pepsi One does not make a difference, it is still basically diet soda, with same taste as diet soda. And finally, Coke Zero is simply Diet Coke. Same taste, same elements. Can we please put these claims that diet soda tastes like regular soda to rest once and for all?
I’ve never really understood the diet soda phenomenon. As far as I can tell, it is one of the worst tasting beverages on the planet-it makes moxie taste enjoyable. It may have no calories, but neither does water! It seems people are so obsessed with taste that they would rather have some thing that tastes bad then has no taste at all.
The most bizarre aspect of the diet soda phenomenon is the person who has a huge calorie-filled meal in front of them, and for a beverage has a diet soda. What exactly do you think that stuff is going to do?
They don’t actually put cocaine in Coke anymore. Cut down on the eating first, then drink the diet soda. The stuff isn’t magic, you can’t drink it and magically lose weight. Your only hope is maybe if you drink enough, the aspartame will give you cancer, and then chemo will cause you to lose weight.
Olin Meyers is a senior majoring in motion pictures. He may be contacted at o.meyers@umiami.edu