don’t have a fit when you see your boyfriend’s bits!

Dear V,

I just started getting serious with this guy I’ve been seeing, and I really like him. I was a little surprised, however, when he took his pants off the first time we hooked up. His equipment is “fully accessorized” and I’m not quite sure what to do with the extra parts. He doesn’t seem to be at all ashamed or embarrassed, and although he’s very hygienic, it still kind of freaks me out. Am I a horrible person for getting grossed out by this? Do I need to be doing anything different? This is new territory for me…

~ Sketched Out

Dear Reader

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for being caught off guard the first time you see an uncircumcised penis. It’s perfectly understandable that you were startled when you realized your boy had a bun with his hot dog, but it’s not really fair (and even a little shallow) to hold it against him and continue to be “grossed out.” After all, the poor guy can’t help it if his parents decided not to remove his foreskin when he was born. If you want to keep things up with this boy, you need to get over your aversion to uncircumcised men.

A good way to do this is to learn more about the practice of circumcision and its pervasiveness (or lack thereof) in our culture. Circumcision is most prevalent in the United States, South Korea, the Philippines, and the Jewish and Muslim faiths. A recent national survey found that 91% of men born in the 1970s and 83% of men born in the 1980s were circumcised.

Compare that to the 11.7% of boys in their late teens and early twenties in the United Kingdom, and the near nonexistence of the practice in South America. If you were a Scottish lass, you’d probably be grossed out if you saw a man that was circumcised.

One reason for the decline in circumcision in America is the vast growth in the Latin population. The practice of circumcision in Latin countries has, historically, been much less common than here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. Your guy’s ethnic background or religion could be the reason for his extra bits and pieces.

Besides the traditional religious motivations, circumcision was once thought to be a preventative measure for certain penile problems (cancer, infection, etc), and promoted as good hygiene.

Although the practice of circumcision is disputed, recent medical studies have found that circumcision may aid in decreasing the risk for some STDs, infections, and chronic conditions. Still, if an uncircumcised man takes care to keep himself clean, it shouldn’t affect anything, in the bedroom or otherwise.

The more, uh, “experience” you have with uncircumcised penises, the more familiar they will become. A little get-to-know-you time with your boy and his package is probably a good idea. And hey, it’s not like I’m telling you to pull your teeth out-I should hope this is a pleasant experience.

Best of Luck!


Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

February 27, 2007


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