A very Facebook divorce

We love Facebook. It affords us the opportunity to stalk people without them even knowing. Sometimes we even end up unintentionally stalking people. I myself recently became an inadvertent stalker to an old high school best friend. I have unwittingly watched her relationship deteriorate through the Facebook news feed, creating a very Facebook divorce.

Allow me to lay the framework for the demise of this relationship by giving a brief description of my experience with said friend, whom I shall refer to as “Tallulah.” She and I became BFF (Best Friends Forever) in the 7th grade. She was tall, exotic, gorgeous, hilarious, talented in every way and very intelligent. She also came from a broken home and even at the tender age of 13, I’d sit on the phone with her for hours comforting her, reassuring her that everything would be okay.

Over the next few years, it was much of the same. Tallulah’s father was a crazy, abusive psychopath and her mother would up and leave without warning for days leaving her four children behind to that monster. Eventually, our interests’ diverged and we were no longer close. We lost touch until Facebook reintroduced us years later, and to my surprise, she was engaged at 22.

One day, I saw through the news feed that Tallulah had been tagged in someone’s note. The title caught my eye, because it mentioned something about strong women getting stuck with crappy dudes in pseudo-relationships. The note went on about how the women she had tagged in the note were selling themselves short by being in relationships with guys who cheat and abuse them. And so the cycle repeats itself.

Today, the news feed said that Tallulah is “no longer listed as single.” I was confused considering she was engaged and planning a freaking wedding like two weeks ago. The history of her news feed showed that she was “no longer listed as in a relationship” last week and listed as being friends with her boyfriend/fianc

December 1, 2006


The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami

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