Opinion

Fat, ugly and educated

How are the three things above related? Well, apparently the common link is that they are all things men do not look for in a woman. At least that’s how I’ve been feeling in recent times. From real life to movies, this country is littered with examples of men who are unable to cope with enlightened women. Is it possible that a man’s masculinity is threatened by an “edumacated” woman?

When examining traditional gender roles and the anatomy of compatibility, the only analogy my mind can conjure is the following: Pretend two-liter measuring cup A represents a man, two-liter measuring cup B represents a woman, and both cups are filled to 1.5 liters with water. In this case, water represents level of education which at 1.5 liters would be relatively high. It’s socially acceptable for measuring cup A to date a measuring cup with any level of water, whereas measuring cup B would be expected to date a value near or above 1.5 liters.

Obviously, the problem here is that measuring cup A has a much greater range of possibilities, creating a nearly impossible amount of competition for measuring cup B to overcome. Especially considering that even though measuring cup C is only at about 0.7 liters, she’s got a great ass and bisexual tendencies. So I pose the question: is measuring cup A’s manliness threatened by 1.5 liters of water?

Just the other day, I caught an episode of the Dr. Phil show. He was examining the relationship between a 40 year-old doctor and an 18 year-old blond who met on sugardaddie.com.

The doctor insisted his relationship would work because he could be the dominant figure. In fact, he mentioned that he broke up with his last girlfriend who was a college professor with a Ph.D. because she wanted to contribute 50/50 to the relationship. However, he felt the need to play an overwhelmingly masculine role which landed him on TV, only to look like a complete douche.

Though probably not applicable to real life, in the movie “I Heart Huckabees,” Naomi Watts’ character goes from shallow and self-absorbed to existentially enlightened. Immediately following the transition, her boyfriend, played by Jude Law, begins badgering her about returning to good-looks and vanity. Prompted by his remarks, she made a memorable quote: “You just can’t handle my infinite nature, can you?” Jude Law’s answer is, “No, because you can’t run with the Joneses when your girlfriend isn’t a trophy no mo’.” Then you won’t be the man, brother!

Maybe I’m over-reacting out of frustration, but maybe I’m onto something. I can totally sympathize with women who are at 1.7 liters, but act like they’re at 0.2 liters – perhaps Jessica Simpson or Anna Nicole Smith?

Does less educated really mean less threatening? I wonder what Dr. Phil would say about the infinite nature of measuring cup B and her ability to find love. And I really wonder if I can also find true love on sugardaddie.com.

Alicia is a first year graduate student majoring in sports medicine. Arguments may be forwarded to a.montalvo@umiami.edu.

November 21, 2006

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