random hookups a cheap way to feel intimate

    Dear V,

    I am sick and tired of random hookups. I don’t think that they are fun anymore. Actually, I think that they are kind of gross. I feel like nobody is into dating, like real dating, like “I’ll take you out to dinner” kind of dating. Anyway, I don’t want to be a loser, but I feel like all anybody wants to do when we go out is to find someone to randomly hook up with. I understand why everyone wants to do it, but I also don’t really get the point of it because it seems relationships don’t happen out of random hookups (at least in my experience), and things are usually just really awkward afterwards with the other person. What gives?

    On Strike

    Dear Reader,

    I completely understand why you feel so shortchanged by the “random hookup” because I think that most of the time they end up being awkward and not as full of the promise of sexual pleasure that they were initially intended to fulfill. While I think that if you were to ask a lot of people why they are into randomly hooking up with people, they might shrug their shoulders and tell you that they’re not quire sure why they participate (everybody else is doing it!), I think that there are a multitude of reasons to explain the popularity of the random hookup. In my opinion, some people do it for the feelings of companionship it brings, because it makes them feel wanted by another person, or because they don’t like to sleep alone (if the hookup even makes it that far!). I think that others do it to exercise their freaky sexual prowess over a stranger or acquaintance, to make someone else jealous, or to initiate some kind of relationship (that likely will, as you pointed out, go nowhere fast). Anywhoo, there are so many more valid reasons to add to the list of justifications for the random hookup that I could probably go rambling on for a few more pages, however, I think that a lot of people (mostly women) get over the thrill of the random hookup when they realize that it is kind of a cheap way to get high, and that any feelings of intimacy experienced are not exactly legitimate.

    If you don’t want to randomly hook up with people like your friends do, then don’t. It’s as simple as refraining. If your friends aren’t complete wastes of lives, they’ll respect your decision to abstain from the random hookup. If they’re smart, then, hopefully, they’ll learn from your example.

    Best of Luck!


    Fact O’ the Day.Women are more than twice as likely as men are to be depressed.

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