Sports

FOOTBALL REPORT CARD

Quarterbacks: D
On Halloween Day in 1981, the No.1 Penn State Nitany Lions came into the Orange Bowl, and Jim Kelly sent them packing. On Jan. 1, 1984, Jamelle Holloway lead the No.1 Cornhuskers into the OB, and Bernie Kosar turned them away. In 1991 Gino Torretta broke the heart of No.1 FSU; and in 2000 Ken Dorsey humbled the Noles. Kyle Wright had his chances. Sadly, he’ll never see another meaningful game as a collegian.

Running Backs: C
Javaris James is a stud. WHERE WAS HE? A few dink passes in garbage time is no way to utilize one of the best players on the team. He is the future of the program. Find some blockers for him, now!

Wide Receivers/Tight Ends: C-
This group seems like a talented bunch. Granted, they’re not quite Reggie Wayne, Santana Moss and Andre King, but still promising. Thing is, until the line and/or the play calling gives these boys the chance to run complete routes, we have no idea how good they actually can be.

Offensive Line: F
It’s not a question of size, it’s a question of talent. K.C Jones was small. Luis Cristobal was small. Brett Romberg was small. Richard Mercier was small. All of those guys could block.

Defensive Line: F
Warren Sapp, Cortez Kennedy, Vince Wilfork, Ted Hedricks and the late Jerome Brown are among the stoppers who patrolled the D-line at the U. The current collection got pushed around by Louisville-a team that, on a good day, may be the second best team in a depleted Big East.

Linebackers: C-
There was a time when the three guys in the middle could win a game by themselves. Not this year. The current corps spent most of Saturday on its collective rear end. Jon Beason cannot be expected to carry the group.

Secondary: D
Louisville is, by in large a running team, passing only when necessary. The Hurricane secondary made the Cardinals look like the 1999 St. Louis Rams. Gary Barnidge, a man so thin that he buys his T-shirts at Baby Gap, abused the secondary to the tune of 15 yards per reception. Somewhere, Ed Reed and Ryan McNeil are weeping.

Special Teams: D
Once upon a time, men like Jessie Armstead patrolled the field, punishing those who dared to even think of returning a kick or punt against the U. In 1989 opponents managed a total of 2 return yards on punts against what may have been the greatest collection of special teams players of all time. Play is sloppy, unimaginative and largely ineffective.

Coaching: F
In the last three games against Division-I schools, UM has scored ZERO points in the second half. Think about that: 90 minutes of football, NO points. There once was a time that the Norte Dame coach called the UM coach and asked for advice on how to win on the road. Does anyone think that ANYBODY is calling our current coaching staff for advice?

Compiled by Stacey Arnold

September 19, 2006

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The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.