Two of my most treasured possessions are political T-shirts. One is a Ross Perot ’92 T-shirt that says something like “Time for a Change.” It didn’t quite fit when I bought it at the Salvation Army about four years ago, and it certainly doesn’t now, but I can always hope I can squeeze into it again. The other shirt I still wear fairly often. It is a black shirt with a blue likeness of Bill Clinton with a sax and some stylish Ray Bans with the legend “President Clinton: The Cure for the Blues.” I wore it when Paul Begala spoke to my history class, and I wore it at a Kerry rally at which Clinton spoke. Clinton actually said to me, over the crowd, “I like your shirt!” I had to buy that shirt on eBay, but it was worth every penny.
I could find these two fairly obscure and totally awesome T-shirts quite easily. Why, then, am I having such a hard time finding two of the most infamous – notorious? – T-shirts in the University of Miami’s football history?
My freshman year, I was crushed when the Hurricanes lost to the Tennessee Volunteers at the Orange Bowl. But after the game, The Chosen One (or Kellen Winslow II, for the uninitiated) almost made up for the loss with his hilarious post-game tirade in which he claimed that “It’s all about this U” and “I’m a f*cking soldier!” After the next home game, some brilliant student was selling T-shirts bearing similar slogans (the ‘I’m’ became ‘We’re’), and I was in such a rush to get back to the Metro that I failed to buy one. It’s something I regret to this day. I still see these shirts every once in a while around campus, and I am green with envy every time I do.
As upset as I am that I cannot seem to find this shirt, I am downright puzzled that I can’t find one of the most famous rivalry shirts in college football history: the Miami vs. Notre Dame shirt hyping “Catholics Versus Convicts.” The world will never know why some Notre Dame student thought that was an insult rather than an absolutely hilarious declaration (especially since, as then-quarterback Steve Walsh pointed out, the ‘Canes had more Catholics on their squad at the time). But I simply cannot find this shirt anywhere – eBay doesn’t have it, Google turns up little more than a Wikipedia entry on the rivalry, and it’s much too random to ever hope to find in Goodwill or the Salvation Army. It’s almost depressing.
The only solution I can think of would be the perfect end to my senior year football season: a Miami-Notre Dame match-up in the National Championship Game in Tempe, Arizona, this January. I know what you’re saying to yourself: that will never happen, because Notre Dame is going to finish 8-4. But a guy can dream.
Patrick Gibbons is a senior majoring in Political Science and Communications. He can hardly wait for football season to begin already. He can be reached (and should be if you have one of these shirts to sell him) at email@example.com.