Dear V,
I met this guy the other night who is great-funny, dances well, doesn’t take himself seriously at all, and extremely friendly. Basically, he’s the opposite of all of these Miami guys that I’ve been meeting lately. I developed a crush on him, and pretty soon after my friend notified me that he did have a girlfriend. Needless to say, I’m pretty disappointed, and the fact that his girlfriend is both pretty and friendly makes it worse because I couldn’t try to be a homewrecker even if I wanted to. Anyways, I still like him a lot, which is a problem because it’s never going to happen between us because of his girlfriend! How can I ever get over the guy that I never even had?
Delusional
Dear Reader,
We’ve all been where you are before. You meet a great, attractive guy who really makes you go “whoa!” only to be crushed by the physical reality of his really attractive girlfriend who invites you to go to the mall with her the next day. Ouch. And, so then you wonder why he would be so flirtatiously friendly to you if he were actually serious about this girlfriend until you find out that they’re engaged. It happens, it sucks, and there is very little that you can do about it.
Anywho, I’m glad that you’ve decided to deny your id’s desire to steal this great guy away from his girlfriend and make him all your own. Furthermore, you have to ask yourself if you really want to be “that girl,” you know, his overly friendly platonic female who has somehow worked her way so tightly into his world that she is the one that he calls when he has a problem even though she isn’t his girlfriend. It could be gratifying for you to be the one who is waiting in the wings for him, but honestly, you have just got to save the drama for your mama and wait your turn. Even if his girlfriend were a nasty dog who cheated off your bio test freshman year, it still wouldn’t be right to try and swoop in and steal him. Duh.
So, the way I see it, you have two options. You could waste your time and wait around for him because he’s worth it or you can make an honest attempt to get over what you never had in the first place. Tough isn’t? It’s awfully nice to live in a fantasy world where every “hello” he speaks to you is indicative of his future plan to seduce and marry you because it’s a lot nicer than living in the real world where he’s not yours to think about. Yeah, I’m guilty of doing it, my friends are guilty of doing it, and I’m sure that my mother is even guilty of doing it, but you’ve just got to find yourself another crush. And if it so happens that he breaks up with his fabulous girlfriend, then maybe the timing for your destined rendezvous will be right. But, until pigs fly, keep meeting new guys because you are bound to find a single one that fits your fancy.
Best of Luck!
V.
Fact o’ the Day.Statistically speaking, women with a larger number of female friends than male friends are more likely to marry than women with a larger number of male friends than female friends.
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V. is a senior majoring in psychology and creative writing.