“R” is for rad, “F” is for foxy, “K” is for krunk and “I” is for I’m going to stab myself in the face if I see another one of those ridiculous shirts. You’ve seen them on campus, and the people wearing them think they’re so witty. Too bad that when I see them it reminds me of elementary school; can you spell moron?
More and more it seems like there is a lack of originality in the way people are dressing. Apparently, everyone and their mother have a black belt in keeping it real. Guess what, by wearing that shirt, not only are you not keeping it real, you should now get a black belt in being a tool-good job master. Seriously, the second someone sees someone else with an even remotely funny shirt, they have to go get it like lemmings off the Abercrombie and Fitch cliff of overly priced clothing.
I understand that across the street, Sunset Place has all those stores like A&F, American Eagle, Hollister and what’s the other one, oh yes Urban Outfitters, and as such, it’s easy to get to. But why does every guy on campus have to wear khaki-cargo shorts and an antiqued shirt that says something retarded like “Fresno? FresYES” or “Idaho? No, Udaho!” Wait, I feel laughter coming on.wait for it.wait for it.no. I challenge everyone to go during the next few days and count all the guys wearing that ensemble, and while you’re at it, if someone has a popped collar, punch them in the face. The count will be well into the hundreds. You’re all cookie-cutters with no originality.
Like usual someone will come back with some retort like, “Now, you’re complaining about what people wear? Jeez, man, get a life and let people be.” Firstly, I’ll write about what I please, and secondly, I am simply trying to bring awareness to my beloved students. A little creativity never hurt anyone, and maybe some of the creativity should be placed in how we dress, seeing as that how we dress is usually a direct representation of who we are. This is a public service announcement my brothers and sisters, embrace me! But hey, it’s cool if you want to be exactly like everyone else, just another face in the crowd with nothing interesting about you; I suppose wearing Ugg boots makes you cool, because wearing ski clothing in 90-degree weather makes you so intriguing.
Some of you will analyze this in an attempt to criticize me; before you do I’d like to clarify something: clothes help define who you are; if you dress like everyone else, I am inferring that like your outer expression shows, you are just like everyone else and can’t develop your own personality enough to be interesting on your own but have to ride the coattails of others. Flame on.
Lastly, I have revamped an offer I placed on a previous article. If you send me hate mail, I will send you an audio file of Adam West himself saying a choice selection of his favorite words.
Jovanni Bello can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.