The ‘Canes are certainly a destructive force. Our great performance against Marcus Vick and his band of no-goods at Blacksburg was great (seeing an entire stadium of Hokies getting progressively quieter before finally making the walk of shame was priceless), incredible, heart-stopping, inspiring. At least that’s what all the sports pundits are serenading all over the airwaves, newspapers and the Internet now that we’ve shown the nation we mean business. The best part is, these are the same pundits who, before the game, derided and downtalked our team so much, you’d think Virginia Tech was slated to play Duke on Saturday.
They said at the beginning of the game that we wouldn’t pull this off. They ranted and raved about VT’s inevitable grasping of the ACC title. They swooned over how the rowdy fans in Lane Stadium would boost morale there and intimidate us. They proclaimed that Marcus Vick would nab the Heisman Trophy. By the end of the game, nay, third quarter, VT would wait another year for a shot at the ACC. The morale-boosting fans would not throw off the ‘Canes and had fallen mysteriously silent. Vick could kiss the Heisman goodbye. And the pundits began to sing another tune.
By the end of the game, Miami not only had a clear shot at the ACC but also the national championship, as long as one of the juggernauts from USC or Texas fell through. We were a force to be reckoned with, and woe be anyone who dares stand in the storm’s path. Now, everybody in this school knew this already-so what took the sportscasters so long to figure it out?
It’s simple: a fundamental flaw in the wonderful world of sports media.namely, a complete lack of objectivity or consistency in opinion. ESPN, for instance, is notorious for bias; it’s impossible to watch the network for five seconds without getting an opinion. Thus, I really love it when humbled commentators retract unfounded (or just plain wrong) opinions, as happened on Saturday. Kurt Herbstreit, you were wrong. Very, very wrong, as you yourself admitted. We now officially own you. Lee Corso, I’ll give you a freebie for picking us to win, but now you have to constantly praise us to make up for all the (always misguided and usually wrong) comments you’ve made about us.
So now that the sports media has jumped on the bandwagon and has nothing but praise for us, we’ve got to figure out a way to make sure that doesn’t change (if not to stroke our egos, then definitely for the sake of consistency). I, for one, suggest getting rid of the current pundits and putting everyone in The Hurricane’s sports section jobs as full-time commentators. Hey, there’s a Seminole on Sportscenter (Corso). Let’s balance it out.
And as for the ousted commentators, let’s get them jobs at Fox News-they’re more than used to that network’s standards of truth and objectivity.
Jay Rooney can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.