Friends with benefits, or just benefits

In the movie When Harry Met Sally, there is a dialogue that conludes that guys and girls cannot be friends. My roommate and I couldn’t disagree more on this statement. I am a firm believer that men and women can be friends, and he agrees with the movie. However there is something that we both agree on (besides iPods, that is), and it’s that the “friends with benefits” never, ever works.

Let me start by giving my definition of “hooking up.” If someone just kisses someone then they would just say they kissed them, if someone had sex with someone they would say they had sex. So, for the sake of argument let’s just say that everything in between is considered hooking up.

I believe that it is possible for guys to be friends with girls. In fact most of my friends happen to be female, and no I am not gay (not that there is anything wrong with that). All that needs to happen for guys and girls to be friends is for them to realize that if they ever hook up they will not be friends anymore. I have heard, although I do not know from experience, that hooking up with your best friends is really pleasurable. Which makes sense because you have emotional attachments toward that person. However, you will have to find a new best friend after you decide to stop, unless of course you start dating.

I have had different experiences with “friends with benefits,” or at least I tried. Either we were friends and then stopped talking or hooked up and became friends. In all situations I was not a friend with any of them while we were hooking up. My roommate brought up a valid point. Every time you try being “friends with benefits” one party always ends up with emotional attachment tand that causes problems.

If you want to hook up with people, go right ahead. It is perfectly OK and lots of fun. However, if you must hook up with your friends be prepared to lose that friend or to get into a relationship with them. There are plenty of people in this school that are just itching for one night stands there is no reason to lose a good friend just for play.

Justin Diamond can be contacted at