Etc. – All-too-common depression as May graduation nears

    Dear V,

    I have a really good guy friend who is gay. We hang out a lot and have a lot of fun together. One of our friends told me that she thinks he is in love with me. Do you think that’s possible? Not in the “I turned him straight” way, but more in the “soulmates” way?

    Gay is just a phase

    Dear Reader,

    I think that you are on crack. I completely understand what you mean by the “soulmates” terminology, but wouldn’t you like to have sex with your soul mate, and not have to worry about him eyeing other guys? Believe me, I have more gay guy friends (who are not just fashion accessories, thank you very much!) than a girl could ever possibly need, but I know that there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that we’re ever going to share anything more than a very deep and caring friendship.

    Your friend is clearly mistaken in her observation, or perhaps you took her phrasing too literally. Do I think that it is possible to be in love with your friends? Of course! I would only hope that you adore your friends-after all, you are choosing to spend your time with them, and who wants to spend time with people that they can’t stand? Yet, there is a very big difference between platonic friends and kissy friends, namely platonic friends are not into kissy business. However, if you and your gay boyfriend are into slobbery sober kissy business, then he might have other issues to discuss.

    Bottom line, I highly doubt that boyfriend is your “I wanna have your babies and worship your bod” soulmate, but I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you two share a fabulously honest and enjoyable friendship with one another. And, hopefully your friendship will ring true far beyond college and far into your future.

    Best of luck!


    Dear V,

    I am a senior graduating in May. A lot of my friends are starting to get really depressed about graduating, even though it’s still early February. What can I do to cheer them up? I don’t want to spend my last semester of my college experience drying their tears.


    Dear Kleenex,

    Oy vey! The tears! The tears! OK, so, college is over. Big whoop, you still have 80 more years to cherish! Hello, people! There is life beyond college, and if you don’t think there is, you are in desperate need of a huge reality check. If anything, in my opinion, the best years are still ahead. I really could do away with, in an absolute heartbeat, all of the awkwardness, tension, and heartache that accompany this age. There is wisdom is aging people! Hello!

    So, what do you think I am, the friggin’ pep club? You want to be able to cheer up your friends-remind them about the opportunity, the promise of future love and all of the absolute coolness that is ahead! Why don’t you remind them about all of the time they spent griping away to you about money, love, crappy friends and even crappier classes? Harrumph! I’m sure that silly little reminder would put everything into perspective for them!

    Really ,though, I’m much more worried about you being surrounded by a bunch of teary maniacs. Is it too late to meet new friends? Worst-case scenario, drag them out with fatty guilt trips and liquor them up! I’m sure they will forget about all of their troubles! Hey, it worked for the Piano Man!

    Good luck!


    Fact O’ the Day…About 54 percent of men say that they masturbate at least once a day…

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