Dear V.,

I really need to get laid, or at least go on a date! I’m really lonely and in desperate need of some quick lovin’.

Tired of the Rabbit

Dear Reader,

I was going to suggest a romantic evening with your hand, but from the sounds of it, you’ve already exhausted your best resources. Maybe the corner is your next best option. Try Grand Ave.; I’m sure that you’ll find what you’re looking for!

Really, though, I can’t help you get laid legally, but I can help you with the lonely factor. Point blank, being lonely blows…a lot. Most people aren’t really big fans of involuntary isolation, but I’m sure that I didn’t need to tell you that. Basically, it’s normal to go through ups and downs. Sometimes you feel like you’re on top of the world, and other times you’re in dire need of a little Prozac. My best advice during those blah times is to grab a few close friends (besides your hand), a 12-pack or two, and some whiny, empathetic Dave to ease your mind and remind you of what really matters. Of course, if your loneliness lingers, screw that advice and make an appointment with the Counseling Center to see what’s really going on.

Best of Luck,


Dear V.,

I broke up with my boyfriend last semester, and we’ve managed to salvage a friendship. We’ve recently become closer as platonic friends and have returned to best-friend status. However, he wants more and has insinuated that he still likes me a lot. But, I only love him as a friend, and I don’t want to return to how things used to be. What do I do? What do I say?

Been There, Done That

Dear Reader,

Uh oh! I smell trouble! The only easy way to address your problem is to start at the top (not on top): At least you know that you only want to be friends with him. Things would be different if you felt kind of wishy washy, flippy floppy with your feelings. Obviously, there was a reason why you broke up, and I’m guessing that the reason is strong enough to keep you, but only you, from reuniting as lovahs. So, just what exactly did he do? Just kidding!

The way that I see it (the best way, duh) you have two options. You can choose to lay low and pray that he doesn’t try to slobber all over you or even worse, go sappy corndog, or you can nip things in the bud and gently remind him that you are only friends, and that you intend to remain so friends for the time being. There’s no reason to be snippy-you do consider him to be a best friend, after all. But, in order to get your point across, you need to let your former boy know firmly that it’s time to build upon your FRIENDship together, nothing more, nothing less.

Best of luck!


Fact O’ The Day…The original name of Taco Bell’s Chili Cheese Burrito was the Chilito, but the company was forced to change the name after realizing that “chilito” is slang for “small penis” in Spanish…yum.

Please submit all questions, comments or concerns to DearV@hotmail.com or to the Dear V box in the offices of The Hurricane. All submissions are strictly confidential. Dear V. is published on Tuesdays and Fridays, and yes, V will respond to almost (don’t push it) anything.

January 28, 2005


The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami

TMH Twitter
About Us

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published in print every Tuesday.