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Dear V Getting around: Whether it’s around the world, or the block, just do it

Dear V,

This incredibly sweet, but very shy boy likes me, the outgoing and exuberant type, but I am about to give up oh him cause he is living and dreaming in virgin territory. Do I tell this kid that he needs to get real and wake up and smell the coffee, or do I befriend him and try and turn his little virgin ass over?

Slick and Suave

Dear Slick and Suave,

Hello rapist, what’s up? I’m just kidding, but honestly now, it would be too much fun to let this one be! Definitely befriend him and take him under your wing, if you know what I mean, jellybean. You claim to be completely on top of your game, so prove it and help this kid out. Let me remind you, that as instinctual as the act of loving might be, some people, in fact most, are not natural Casanova’s; it still takes a lot of practice, practice, practice before you can make perfect.

So what do you have to lose if you choose to accept my challenge? Very little in my eyes, besides a little bit of your time and maybe some of your patience. Don’t get me wrong here, though, you’re not trying to train a puppy. Be nice, gentle and understanding with his lack of affection aptitude. If you truly get bored, forget that I ever said anything. But, please remember Mr. “I’m too experienced/cool for school” you can gain a lot of knowledge from other people, especially when you think that you already know everything there is to know. I think that you might be surprised…

This mission is yours, if you’re not too good to accept!

V.

Dear V,

I have a question for you. What do you do when you realize that the person you’ve been hooking up with really has a girlfriend, who is studying abroad, and he is using you as a booty call, but you still like him anyway? Please, please, please, help me! I don’t know what to do.

Sincerely,

Should I be packing my bags?

Dear Reader,

Whoa! Explosive! And ouch, I offer my condolences to you, really. So, you’re in love with a liar, missy? Did he explicitly tell you that he has a girlfriend abroad, or did you find out from other sources? It doesn’t matter either way, but I’m sure that you’ll agree that his character is just that much sketchier if you found out from someone else. Furthermore, did this guy just fall onto the planet and into your social group recently? Did none of your friends or acquaintances acknowledge or know that he had a girlfriend? Is it de rigueur to hide all traces of your traveling significant other these days? My God, people!

OK, so I’m sure that I don’t have to explain to you that booty and love don’t necessarily mix, but I have one question: Is he going to break things off to be with you next semester when his girlfriend is back? Think long and hard about that one, looooong and hard. My suggestions to you are to seriously sit down and think about what your feelings for this guy are, and if you would be willing to pursue something serious with him, you need to let him know this ASAP. On a side note, you might want to ask him if he is dancing under the covers with any other girls besides you and the girlfriend, and please don’t be surprised if he is. Honestly, now, get with it girlie! I personally would call him out on his infidelities. That’s just plain nasty, and apt to happen again to other unfortunate girls in his future.

Best of luck,

V.

Thought O’ the Day…Alcohol lowers the level of the sex hormone testosterone in men but increases it in women….Think twice about those keg stands, boys!

See you on Tuesday!

Please submit all questions, comments or concerns to DearV@hotmail.com or to the Dear V box in the offices of the Hurricane. All submissions are strictly confidential. Dear V. is published on Tuesdays and Fridays, and yes, V will respond to almost (don’t push it) anything.

November 12, 2004

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.