Do you think that it’s possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Is it possible to have more than one soul mate during one’s life? I’m trying to decide if either is possible, and I would appreciate a little direction.
In love with two many
Dear In Love,
Without delving into some type of existentialist, not-relevant-to-your-existence as a human being diatribe, yes, I absolutely believe that it’s possible to be in love with two people at the same time. It would be very biblical and idealistic if we chose to believe that human beings were programmed to be on a strictly monogamous path, but the truth is, not everyone can submit to absolute monogamy. Granted, being in love with two different people, and screwing around with two different people are not equal situations, but is it not possible to be in love with someone’s personality while simultaneously being in love with someone else’s physical body? Of course it is.
As for the second question, searching for love is very much a search for personal completion, thus a true soul mate is very much like the perfectly fitting, missing piece to your puzzle. I do believe in soul mates, but I do not believe that it is possible to have more than one true soul mate; a lover and a soul mate are totally different. People spend their entire lives sorting through lovers, trying to find “the one,” but quite often, and if this isn’t bleak reality I don’t know what is, people settle because they are tired of searching and tired of being alone. So without getting too spacey on you, no, it is not possible to have more than one true soul mate, but it is quite possible to lead a fabulous life with a fabulous lover.
A tidbit for you – “Soul mates only exist in the Hallmark aisle of Duane Reade Drugs.” – Miranda Hobbes, Sex and the City.
Lots of Love,
I started dating this guy a little over a month ago. We get along great and I have grown closer to him than any other boyfriend in this short amount of time. There is one issue about this guy that has been bothering me. You see V, every other girl he has dated and all his ex-girlfriends have been your typical blonde-haired, big-breasted girls. Here I am, brunette, tan skin and without a full chest. I can’t help but feel a bit insecure when I see pictures of him with his exes all over his wall. I know I should be confident in my own skin and great personality, but I have this feeling deep down inside that he sometimes wants what has always turned him on in the past. He told me once, “Some guys are all about legs, some guys are all about ass, but I’m all about tits.” That’s great considering my legs and ass are my best physical features! I really want this to work out with him…please help me get over this!
Brunette and Flat
Dear Brunette and Flat,
Oy, these boys who make us feel so damn insecure with ourselves. First, he obviously finds you to be very attractive the way that you are, or else he would have no business dating you (that is, unless you’re wonderfully wealthy, just kidding!), and second, I think that it might be high time for your boyfriend to take down all of those pictures of his ex-girlfriends and completely litter the walls with pictures of you. There is absolutely no reason why he should have pictures of other girls floating around. I’ve heard all of the excuses; “But, we’re still friends” is garbage. Likewise, if he dares mention his cute little words about which parts of the female physique he finds so lovely, tell him to zip his lips because it makes you feel iffy. If you can’t confidently confide your insecurities to him, you might have larger problems at hand.
A thought to ponder while you’re voting… According to the Kinsey Report, the first in depth, scientific study on the sex habits of Americans, a 20-year-old man takes two to three minutes after penetration to ejaculate whereas a woman of the same age takes 15-20 minutes to achieve total arousal…discrepancy much?
Please submit all questions, comments or concerns to DearV@hotmail.com or to the Dear V box in the offices of the Hurricane. All submissions are strictly confidential. Dear V. is published on Tuesdays and Fridays, and yes, V will respond to almost (don’t push it) anything.