Hi V,
How are you? I need some advice! I have a tattoo that I got two years ago, and now I’m kind of tired of it. What shall I do? Should I get rid of it? I think I will, but how would I go about removing it? Thanks for your help; I love your column. Ciao!
-Tattooed and Tired
Hi Tattooed,
I’m great. Thanks for asking! As for this tattoo nonsense-oy, kids these days! Congratulations, you have reached the “I want to get rid of my permanent artwork” dilemma. Do you see the flaming contradiction in the previous statement? The way I see it you have a few options: A) Keep the tattoo, learn to love it like you did on that very special, very intoxicated night that you got inked or at the very worst, ignore it. B) Sell your overworked college soul to get it removed by laser removal (ouch!), excision (a.k.a. cutting it out), sanding (hard core) or, mmm, tissue expansion (ew). C) Alter the design into something more pleasing, or D) Camouflage it with professional makeup products when you really regret getting it done. Whatever you do, do not buy any type of “home removal” product. They are generally acid based, dangerous, and ineffective. Leave it up to the pros, and next time think twice before you decide to put that flaming skull on your butt. Please.
Needle me ha.
–V.
Dear V,
I recently reconnected with a guy from way back. The sex is incredible, but we don’t do much more than have sex. I used to think that he was quite possibly more interested in just a physical relationship, but lately he’s been giving me the brush off. For instance, the last time that I asked him over to my place he skipped out on the offer to hang out with his roommate! Yet he still walked me out to the car. I don’t want to call and sound like a desperate girl, but more than the mind-blowing sex, I think that I might really like him. Help! I am so confused with these signals – or lack thereof! What the hell is going on? I’d love to be clued in.
-Hornycane
Horny,
We’ve made it full circle to the infamous late 90s question that has haunted so many: Is it possible for women to have sex like men? i.e. emotionally detached hookups. From the sound of your letter, there really has been little contact between you and this blast from the past, besides genital; obviously you’re attracted to him, but do you even know him enough to like him? Think about it, it’s more than possible that he acted interested in you in order to lure a part of you in to bed a couple of times-alcohol and darkness tend to have that effect on people. The next time you encounter one another, persuade him to pursue you during daylight hours. Perhaps you might be able to decipher those always ill-fated signals. In the meantime, you’re just going to have to sweat it out girlie and distract yourself a little bit. Vibrators anyone?
Cheers to not calling!
-V.
And as always…
Please direct all drama and crises to dearv@hotmail.com or to the Dear V box in The Hurricane’s office. All inquiries will be treated with the utmost confidentiality.