It’s not you, it’s me: Seeing rejection in a new light

The fall semester has begun and that means there is a whole slew of new people to feast your eyes on; some you will drool over, others will make you collapse in an epileptic fit of disgust. For those of you new to the “game,” Jovanni has some advice for you. So brush your shoulder off, playa’; I got you.

Those of you who don’t need advice and are visiting the clinic to grab a fist-full of fancifully colored condoms; die, I don’t like you. The rest of us, well, we’re going to get rejected harder than an American basketball player at the Olympic games. But, Jovanni will tell you how to take rejection like a pro (not that I’ve been rejected much myself…cough…).

You must realize that love, attraction and lust are subjective and not objective. Now I know some of you will say, “OMG, everyone knows that, foo’!” Hear me out: You see, when you date someone, generally you’re looking for someone who has a certain set of traits that you want, and, likewise, the person who likes you is seeking a certain set of traits that you fit into.

Let me give you an example: You have two guys and one girl. Guy One has Trait-Set: Athletic, and Guy Two has Trait-Set: Intelligent. Now, Girl has Trait-Set: Girl-Next-Door, which both guys desire. Yet, Girl desires Trait-Set: Athletic. Does that mean that Guy Two (You) is less of a man than Guy One? Does that mean that Guy One is superior to Guy Two? No, of course not. It simply means that Girl was seeking a certain Trait-Set and Guy Two just didn’t have it. In fact, Guy Two should thank Girl for rejecting him because that way he doesn’t waste his time trying to woo her and instead focus his efforts in something else or someone who is interested in Trait-Set: Intelligent.

Like I said, love, attraction, and lust are subjective. So before you drink 40 Jamba Juices over some girl in a ruffled mini-skirt rejecting you, say to yourself: “She was probably a whore anyway.” Then realize that you’re not the problem, it’s her.

Jovanni Bello can be contacted at