Allow us to vouch for an invention called the mirror. Ever noticed how cavemen always look like crap in those little stick drawings? That ’cause it was before the times of this innovative, vertical, reflective surface. Even settlers where kinda hard up for them; that’s why all the characters in Oregon Trail were so horribly unfashionable. And died of cholera.

Anyway – we reside in a developed country in a day and age where mirrors are readily accessible not only in households and dorms, but in bathrooms, lockerrooms, and your closest retail store. But as the photos below show, some modern Americans still go whole days without seeing their own reflection. For these unfortunate folks, we offer some tips: no polo shirts with gym shorts, micro-sized minis with stiletto heels and above all, thong straps or boxer prints peaking out. Remember: Fashion is a blur of opinions and statements; however, there are some things that just don’t fly. Lucky for you, we’re protecting your identity with a big, black circle (always slimming).