Ralph Nader: Undisputed king of ‘bratty indulgence’

Well, here we are kids: Ralph is in the running. He’s thrown his hat in the ring and he’s coming to take on a big corporation near you!


A few weeks ago, Bill Maher, the perpetually impudent host of his own show, Real Time with Bill Maher, interviewed Ralph Nader about his just-announced candidacy for President. In that interview Maher said that he thought that Nader getting in the race just seemed to be a “bratty indulgence,” that Nader really only stood to make a symbolic point which could ultimately get Bush reelected.

Obviously, Nader didn’t agree with that and launched right into an anti-capitalist tirade about President Bush being a “giant corporation masquerading as a human being.” Workers of the world, unite!

Ralph Nader has about as much chance of being elected President of the United States as I do. He had no chance four and eight years ago when he ran on the Green Party ticket (which would be more accurately colored “red”) and he has even less now that he’s running as an independent.

Having recently gained some affinity for presidential candidates who run with virtually no chance of winning, I say if Ralph wants to run, he should run. But he should smell the coffee along the way.

Gaining ballot access in all 50 states will be impossible. Last time he only made it in 43 states, and that was with a political party apparatus behind him. Now, he’ll be lucky to make it on 20, especially since there’s so much animosity toward his campaign emanating from the left.

Feeling slighted, even the Green Party doesn’t want him. That’s gotta suck when even the perennial losers tell you to get lost.

The day Nader announced his campaign, he told NBC’s Tim Russert that there needs to be more than two choices for President so that our country no longer suffers from a “democracy gap.” This is sheer arrogance. In 2000, every state in the union had at least three candidates for President on the ballot. Florida had 10, one of whom was Nader. What he actually means is that all Americans need to have Ralph on their ballot. Perhaps what he needs is to have a winning slogan. Something different. Something catchy. Something playing to his strengths. I know. How about, “Experience is Excrement?” That should stick in people’s minds. Just like a puke-green t-shirt.